Cold Souls (2008)

Paul Giamatti stars as himself—as an actor who is so overwhelmed by anxiety—he has his soul removed and placed into cold storage. Then is gets lost.  So Paul has some serious soul-searching to do.  Literally.

This existential dark comedy is heavy on irony. You’re either going to like this movie and appreciate Paul’s execution. Or you are going to hate it—just like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. You know who you are.

As I see it, Cold Souls lacked the whimsy and emotion of Eternal Sunshine.  Giamatti is good here, but just not interesting enough for me.

The Visitor (2007)

Professor Walter Vale (Richard Jenkins) has been on autopilot since his wife’s death. Walter exists; but nothing more. Returning to his New York apartment after an extended absence, he is surprised to find an immigrant couple squatting in his home. Tarek and Zainab interest him. Whether out of pity or boredom, Walter allows the couple to stay while he attends his required convention. Walter forges an unlikely friendship with Tarek, enchanted by his passion for life. But when Tarek is profiled and thrown into a detention center, Walter finds a passion unlike no other.

The Visitor is an unassuming independent film that you will either love or hate. Braving a very polarizing topic—illegal immigration—director Thomas McCarthy examines the relationship of Walter and Tarek without taking sides. Bravo McCarthy for achieving so much depth and emotion from the screenplay in 98 minutes.  The film takes sides, but Walter is there as the devil's advocate.

Richard Jenkins is phenomenal. His Walter Vale is an overwhelmingly sad man, but subtly so. He finds joy in nothing until Tarek and his African drum enter his life. Walter's evolution is beautiful thanks to this performance.

The bittersweet inevitability of The Visitor is the film’s crux. The viewer expects it, but any other resolution would cheapen the experience. As I see it, The Visitor is a quiet film that will ultimately call the viewer’s feeling will be called into question. Your response to that will determine the success of this film.

Kenny (2006)

“I don't know what all the fuss is about, it's 80% water and we've got chemicals to take care of the remaining 20” and with that Aussie Kenny Smyth (Shane Jacobson) begins a look into his world. Kenny—imagine an obese John Travolta with a lisp—takes care of business, the port-a-john kind, with an uncommon blend of heart and humor. No matter the size of the event, Kenny has the right facilities for you.

Kenny is a hilarious mockumentary that with surprising heart and a very likable star. Filled with underplayed toilet humor and filmed on location at actual events, i.e. the International Cleaners and Pumpers Convention in Nashville, Tennessee gives the film an uncanny realism. Actor Shane Jacobson owns his role with amazing authenticity and everyday humbleness.

When Kenny isn’t dealing with a ring lost down the crapper or his co-workers, he’s suffering with an ex-wife that despises him, a young son, his father who can’t cope that his son Kenny ‘delivers toilets’ and his high-class brother. Kenny soldiers on with dignity and grace; he’s a likable fellow and his life is an admirable one. He just happens to clean toilets.

As I see it, Kenny is a smart character dramedy that isn’t about crap so much as the man who must deal with it.

Special (2006)

Les Franken (Michael Rapaport) is a local meter maid who is approved to take part in clinical trials of a new antidepressant. Adverse side effects leave Les convinced that he is developing super powers. Despite his doctor’s behest that Les quit taking the medicine, Les dons superhero threads to fight the evil that maligns the world with very mixed results.

Special is an original idea lacking focus; at only 80 minutes the film is over before you really mind. Part black comedy, part social satire and kind of enjoyable Special is held together by Rapaport’s admirable performance. His portrayal of a mediocre man draws respectable sympathy from the viewer. But his drop off the deep end is befuddling. The oddball-supporting cast offers a few laughs, but in this sad tale everything seems out of place including them.

As I see it, Special isn’t worth your time unless you’re a fan of Rapaport. It’s a solidly mediocre film.

Noise (2007)

New Yorker David Owen (Tim Robbins) is a fussy old man. Desperate for peace and quiet, he turns his hatred for car alarms and their never-ending shill inward and becomes ‘The Rectifier’. Breaking into the offending cars to pop the hood and deactivate their alarms draws the attention of the mayor (William Hurt) who is determined to end this vigilante justice.

Noise is an insipid disjoined mess. That’s a shame considering the originality of the plot. The issues are threefold. The cast is content to phone-in uninspired performances. Tim Robbins with his lethargic whiny delivery comes across all wrong. He’s the neighbor everyone loves to hate. Delightful Bridget Moynahan is miscast as an uninteresting, disinterested wife. And the superb William Hurt is a total douche. It also lacks focus with a narrative that falters long before it gets started. Combined with all that is a thinly veiled socio-satirical diatribe and you’ve got a mess-terpiece.

Henry Poole is Here (2008)

Henry Poole is an odd man with a secret. Diagnosed with rare disease, he has only a few weeks to live. Rather than live it up, Henry (Luke Wilson) removes himself from life and partakes of an endless supply of pizza and liquor. His desire to left alone is interrupted by a devoutly religious and meddling neighbor Esperanza (Adriana Barraza) who spies a miracle on the stucco of Henry’s home. Much to Henry’s dismay, Esperanza spreads the word of this Holy sign making Henry’s home a shrine.

Henry Poole is Here is a character study of man with no hope finding something to hope for. Melancholic but inspirational, the film is nicely balanced emotionally and is subversively charming The progession of events is believably, if odd.

As I see it, Henry Poole is Here is a gentle little film that entertains and could actually be thought-provoking if you let it. The film doesn’t tell us what to believe insomuch as showcasing the strength found in faith.

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)

It was only after the ballyhoo behind Precious that I considered viewing it. After suffering through this superficial drama I will call it what it is—a disappointment. Despite a film that contains a great cast, there is no resonance or depth of character.

Precious (Gabourey Sidibe) is an obese, very black high school student who abused by her vicious mother (Mo’Nique) and is pregnant for the second time by her father. How the girl copes isn’t entirely clear. This viewer is assuming the fantasy sequences are her escapism. As Precious tries to survive her poor self image and her surrounds, the viewer is left to determine how to respond to they see.

I responded with amazement that this film has been heralded. Precious is a one-trick pony; that trick is stereotypical. I don’t understand how anyone could find this anything but demeaning. The characters unfold here into caricatures of black people. And when the sympathy card is finally played, this viewer wanted to spit, not cry.

As I see it, Precious shocks but not in the way the director intends. I’m shocked this mess-terpiece was bankrolled by Oprah. Rape, incest, abuse, AIDS, poverty, welfare—all valid themes and not just in the black community—are shown here in a wash of Hollywood pseudo-ignorance peppered with hateful language. It’s disgusting.

Night on Earth (1991)

Writer-director Jim Jarmusch is behind one of my favorite conversational films, Coffee & Cigarettes.  In that, Jarmusch seemingly thrust celebrities together and recorded the results in a certain randomness.  So much so, that you could believe that Bill Murray is, in fact, human.

In Night on Earth, Jarmusch presents individual vignettes that occur inside taxi cabs across the world on the same night.  We jump from the US to Frances, Italy or Russia.  The film is interesting, quirky, dated, but only two stories were truly entertaining.  I was disappointed.

As I see it, Night on Earth just isn't interesting enough to warrant a rental.

Metropolitan (1990)

Yet another of writer/director Whit Stillman’s artsy gems that blends the vapid and the everyday. This time he focuses on a group of Manhattan preps. Days begin at sundown and include intellectual conversation and dancing. Tom Townsend (Edward Clements) joins the group after a chance meeting. But for this group of young adults, the question is how each of them will cope as their group grows apart.

Much like The Last Days of Disco, Stillman’s Metropolitan is boring at first glance and becomes oddly riveting. Why? I’m still unsure. But I wasted 90 minutes of my life watching these young nincompoops whine about their station in life—and enjoyed it.

The Girlfriend Experience (2009)

Steven Soderberg-fueled non-linear drama that's a bit too pretensious for my liking.

Once (2006)

This contemporary love story between a Guy (Glen Hansard) and a Girl (Marketa Irglova) transpires over the course of a week is beautiful not only in its simplicity but because of its supporting soundtrack that was written by its cast.

You have no soul should you not be moved but the story unfolding. Guy is back in Dublin after breaking up with his girl friend. Girl is separated from her husband. A friendship blossoms and both find the courage they need in each other.

The organic nature of Once feels so real and yet it all happens so quickly it should be magical. There is no doubt the two musicians doubling as our lead characters give the film its authenticity. The songs that are written as the film progresses echo the sentiments of Guy and Girl without being cliché or cloying.  Director John Carney steps back and the camera is passive observer. Each frame is organic—nothing particularly technical. You feel lucky to have seen something so gentle.

As I see it, Once is real gem—one that you’ll feel all the better for seeing.  Amid all the blockbusters and spectacles, this is the one you want to see.

Paper Heart (2009)

This unusual mockumentary stars a delightful Michael Cera and a new to me, oddball Charlyne Yi. Charlyne—an unbeliever in love—sets out to document people, their views on love, and unexpectedly falls into it.

The best parts of this film are the real love stories told by couples across the nation and Michael Cera. Yi is unconvincing. Her loud guffaw is unbearable. The lines between fact and fiction are clearly drawn, but that doesn’t keep Paper Heart from being obnoxiously adorable. Cera is the man. His unassuming demeanor works perfectly here. The scenes with Yi are precious, but Yi is uncomfortable in her own skin and that is reflected here.

Paper Heart is composed of scripted bits, real stories, and puppet reenactments. Sadly, they don’t gel. Making matters worst is an abrupt ending that leaves the viewer feeling cheated.

As I see it, Paper Heart is like Nick and Norah’s sans playlist and relatable characters. It’s cute, but forgettable.

The Last Days of Disco (1998)

For this group, the last days of disco were beautifully vapid and strangely familiar.

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

Essentially the story of a boy who falls in love with a girl who doesn’t, this quirky romantic drama should be titled 'Reliving the past 500 days with Summer, a girl who I allowed to torture me.'

Greeting-card writer and aspiring architect Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) relives the past 500 days of his relationship with Summer (Zooey Deschanel) looking for clues on their doomed romance. Though he is told by Summer, a commitment-phobic eccentric, that she isn’t looking for anything serious, Tom plunges ahead. By day 244, he’s had his heart ripped out three times. Stupid boy keeps coming back for more.

(500) Days of Summer tries to be smart, but comes across cliché. The non-linear storyline is perhaps the most interesting element of the film. Told through days of consequence, we see moments of puppy love, spontaneity, drinking, shopping, goofing off, etc. The little vignettes are tender, but more often corny. The film wants to be many things and fails at them all.

The chemistry between Deschanel and Gordon-Levitt is rote. He makes googly-eyes the entire film. She has googly-eyes. Her vintage/thrift store wardrobe symbolism is eye-rollingly obvious. His hipster cardigans and messenger bags… well, these cool cats are so meant to be. Or not.

By the time the viewer reaches day 422, you want her to physically rip his heart out or him to snort a line to put YOU out of this pretentious misery. The culmination of days—day 500—is a cheap shot at the audience.

As I see it, (500) Days of Summer is a disappointing waste of time. Love hurts. So does this movie. It’s best avoided unless Garden State is all rented out.

31 More Days of Horror: Platoon of the Dead (2009)

Well, it was bound to happen. I wouldn’t have thought it would happen so perfectly though. Midway through an otherwise exceptional horror-fest; I get a real dud.  For the love of all things horror; watch ANYTHING ELSE but this! Watch The Notebook! Watch The Mist! Watch Hannah Montana! Just DON’T watch this.


Platoon of the Dead has got to be the result of a long night that included a bong and some beer. The entire film is one tiresome hack job. The sad thing is I think the creators tried to make a legit zombie movie. They failed (and I venture just like everything else) miserably. Platoon of the Dead isn't even 'so bad, it's funny'. It's just bad; please save yourself and DON'T watch this!!

31 More Days of Horror: The Signal (2007)

When a signal sent out across phones, televisions, and radios cause the citizens of Terminus to become crazed, murderous freaks—look out! We see humanity explode into hate-filled rage in three gory transmissions told through three distinct perspectives.

A faithless wife tries to reach her lover who gave her a kick-a$$ mix tape the previous night. In the meantime, she crosses paths with her ex-husband. Violent, yet humorous narratives overlap to create perfect 21st Century paranoia.

Transmission 1 explores the initial outbreak of ‘the crazy’ and its immediate effects on our trio. Transmission 2 is where everything amps up. With brutality and black humor, Transmission 2 finds gruesome maniacs wreaking havoc in the city, but we focus on the husband--raging with jealousy--and his weapon of choice: a fire extinguisher. Transmission 3 is our climax where good and evil co-mingle. The viewer is not longer able to distinguish the reality from the hallucination.

Despite the seemingly disjointed stories, I trust my readers are smart. The second act contains wildly different undertones and although each transmission has a certain feel, there is on unifying theme… Gore is king!

The Signal doesn’t disappoint with juicy, bloody, gruesomeness. The freaky splatter is insane. But this low budget gem is smart, terse, and perfectly disturbing; its modern unpredictable horror worth watching.

31 More Days of Horror: The Blair Witch Project (1999)

The hype has past; film-goers have moved on. Now is the time to see The Blair Witch Project. The film is simple in its execution, therein lays its success. The film reminds us of that which is scariest—what we don’t see.

One very driven film student, Heather, drags two buddies along to document the story of the Blair Witch; who according to legend is behind the countless murders and disappearances spanning decades. Grab your gear. Let’s go camping!

The amateurish nature of the film is its best feature. Shaky-cam! Surprisingly, it’s not annoying, but enhancing. With this film, you must listen—not see. Listen to wind blow, the leaves crunch, and the faint noises in the background. The occasional revelation further cements that something is out there, but what? It’s an intangible malevolent being that scares you sh*tless.

Our trio isn’t stupid, just goofy. But as the situation quickly gets out of hand, they are clearly ill-equipped and the death spiral begins. Turning on one another, bickering, it’s not until Josh’s teeth are discovered that the group reunites.

Nothing prepares you for the final stand. And as you yell the cardinal rule {don’t go in there!}at the helpless duo, the film ends. Nice.

31 More Days of Horror: BONUS: American Zombie (2007)

Fair and balanced coverage is what you’ll find here in American Zombie. Documentary filmmaker Grace Lee and guerilla filmmaker John Soloman team up for ‘a day in the life’ of local zombies in L.A. Through the film we learn {among other things} that there are three levels of zombies: feral, low and high functioning.

Rotting flesh aside, the undead showcased here are not much different from you and me. They have hopes and dreams. Joel, founder of ZAG (Zombie Advocacy Group) fights for equal rights. Ivan is an aspiring writer and convenience store clerk. Judy is a vegan looking for true love with a human and Lisa, an artist, using holistic fusion therapy to combat her desire for her own funeral.

Introducing their viewership to a unique subculture, examining their sub-human existence, cultivating sympathy and respect for our undead populace, the filmmakers—one compassionate soul, the other a sensationalist—balance each other’s agenda to create solid propaganda.

American Zombie suffers from a love-hate complex. The filmmakers try to do too much and ultimately, they don't know where to go with the film. It's slow to build its agenda and is too quick to end. But still, it is worth a look. Humans will look upon with disgust. The undead will be please there story is finally told in an approachable manner. The film culminates at the zombie festival Live Dead—a three day celebration of revenant living. Grace and John are the only known living invitees.

This documentary is a must see for anyone seeking common ground between the living and the dead. Embrace your fellow zombie—just not too closely.

31 More Days of Horror: Teeth (2006)

A nice dollop of cheese is served alongside this morbidly interesting tale of vagina dentate. Campy and shocking, Teeth is centered on an ancient myth that is bound to make every viewer uncomfortable.

Dawn (Jess Weixler) is a virtuous high-school student whose abstinence isn’t 100% voluntary. Enter Tobey who causes Dawn to have ‘impure’ thoughts. After a swim, Tobey’s libido gets the best of him and the real reason for Dawn’s abstinence becomes apparent. Her vagina is lined with shark-like incisors that engage whenever she’s ‘mistreated’ causing her offender’s appendage to become detached.

Overcoming the initial shock and after rediscovering her body (through Google-esque means, no less), Dawn begins to use this evolutionary anomaly to her advantage. At that, the film morphs from into a revenge flick as Dawn plots against her incestuous big brother (Nip/Tuck’s John Hensley) and any other who dare enter her pants without permission.

Teeth is filled with absurd moments and graphic imagery. Writer/director Michael Lichenstein skims the surface of the vagina dentate myth, but thoroughly delivers the castration angle. The dialogue is oddly funny; the events are often surreal. Strangely enough the balance of black humor to penile abuse works. The film never seems to cross that torture porn/exploitive line.

Part horror, part comedy and altogether weird, Teeth is an interesting piece for gore fans.

Gigantic (2008)

Who decided a story titled Gigantic would be of a mattress salesman (Paul Dano) who always wanted to adopt a child from China? Who thought that the young mattress salesman should be raised by an odd family, meet a weird girl (Zooey Deschanel) and that she should have crazy dad (John Goodman) of the century? More puzzling, why did I think I wanted to watch it?

I’m still unsure what Gigantic wanted to be (ironic, maybe), but I’m certain what it is: not entertaining. This film is gigantic bore. It’s frustrating to see Paul Dano languish onscreen. Zooey Deschanel is content to be doe-eyed and annoyingly inane. Ed Asner pops up—maybe trying to procure some indie cred. Alas, he is another painful edition to this gigantic mess. Further complicating matters is Zach Galifianakis who gives bum rush its definition.

As I see it, Gigantic is an insipid time-waster. It never entertains or inspires. Avoid at all costs.