Wanted (2008)

Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) is ordinary. His ordinary existence has him ill-prepared for his extraordinary linieage. Wesley is the son of one of the world's most notorious assassins. When given the chance to join The Fraternity to avenge his long-lost father's death, Wesley leaves behind ordinary. Schooled by Fox (Angelina Jolie), Pekwarsky (Terrance Stamp), Gunsmith (rapper Common), The Butcher and The Exterminator (Russian dudes from Nightwatch), Wesley becomes an assassin. Mentored by Sloan (Morgan Freeman), Wesley learns the history behind the Weavers and the mythological Fates in a magical loom. {I know--sounds gay.}

Director Timur Bekmambetov {and I mention him only for a select few) makes his American film debut with Wanted. Pure adrenaline-fueled entainment, Wanted is cinema gold thanks to awesome CGI, superhot casting, nonstop shootouts, humor, and philosophical meanderings. Move over Neo--we've got Wesley!

James McAvoy (surprisingly) leads a stellar cast: he developing quite the acting chops. His sarcastic narration sets the pace. As Wesley, his evolution from pussy to 'The Man' feels genuine. Angelina is lethal and uber-gorgeous as Fox. This onscreen sexpot, looking skinnier that usual, is beautiful foil to McAvoy. Freeman turns it down a notch as Sloan, but manages the Sage-part, i.e., Morpheus role perfectly. It was cool to see Anton--I mean Konstantin Khabensky. His role as The Exterminator is too cool.

Bekmambetov has created a fantasy for all the cubicle dwellers, assistant {to the} regional managers, Joe Blows, and as my brother says "white Anglo-Saxon Protestants" that work hard in their seemingly mundane lives. The production is that gritty and highly-stylized feel I've come to love from this director. The CGI is masterful; his manipulation of the camera to evoke visual emotion is amazing and his touch of dark humor is always in good taste. Inside the action-packed exterior lies the soul-searching human drama that validates, maybe, the profane and violent.

With its Zen discussions and curved bullets, Wanted is clearly new Matrix. What should be s summer blockbuster will be merely a footnote of 2008, I think. It's a must-see on the big screen. Explosive and awesome, Wanted will leave you thinking "What have I done lately?"

The Happening (2008)

Spoiler Alert: Trees kill people.

An unknown phenomena is causing people to calming kill themselves. As the crisis emerges, high-school science teacher Elliot (Mark Wahlberg), his estranged wife, Alma, math teacher and friend, Julian (John Leguizamo) and his daughter try to escape this strange event.

M. Night Shyamalan's attempt at environmental crisis is ridiculously sad. While I think his attempt was to create a socio-ecological commentary on the day, it is shocking to me how sad The Happening really is. While the idea behind it--Mother Nature slyly picking us off in group--is quite thought-provoking, this film is so hilariously unrealized I wanted my money back last night.

Everything about this film is {un}successful. The screenplay doesn't build sufficient suspense, nor does it deliver. The casting is abominable. Mark Wahlberg is hilariously awful. Big-eyed Zooey Deschanel needs some Visine like you wouldn't believe. Creepy gardener-dude with the bad haircut was AMAZING as was backwoods woman, a la, Steven King's Misery.

I think the joke is on the viewer. Shyamalan has created a spoof on himself. Maybe he wanted to see how bad a movie he could make and still have people stroke his ego to defend him.

The Happening is either a non-stop crap-fest or comedy gold depending on your point of view. It has perfect tones of camp, gore, and comedy. So much so, that any attempt at suspenseful drama is obliterated by the non-stop humor.

The Happening isn't happening. Fans of Shyamalan owe it to themselves to view his first comedy. General audiences best stay away.

Rock 'n' Roll Suicide

Socks are a wonderful and often overlooked form of expression.

There is something inherently dorky, but cool about wearing renegade socks. I have worn these socks for years; I wear them with everything. I wear them under power suits and blue jeans. I wear my Bowie socks at every opportunity. They give me a swagger and a twinkle in my eye. They are my secret... until now.

My Bowie socks are dying a rock and roll suicide. They have reached the end. I wore them today at work. Having them on gives me attitude and yes, strength. It's odd having such a connection with socks, but these aren't just any socks. These are my Bowie socks.

There's not much left of them. I have been ridiculed for my Bowie socks. The heels have been long gone. The toes, too. Now as the thread-bare socks give way to holes, the end has come.

I love you, Bowie socks. I will bathe you one last time in the washer; tumble you in the dryer and create you anew. Not at socks though, but as a memory.

The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)

A defining moment of European history plays out as the Boleyn sisters, Anne (Natalie Portman) and Mary (Scarlett Johansson), compete for the love of the handsome womanizer King Henry VIII (Eric Bana). Driven by their father and uncle's ambition, the two girls are used as pawns in the quest for ultimate power and wealth. Kind and meek, Mary catches the king's eye at first; but when Anne storms the court, King Henry will stop at nothing to have her. Ultimately, the two Boleyn sisters are perhaps the most polarizing figures of the day.

The Other Boleyn Girl is a luscious drama of historical faction-- inaccuracies are rampant. An adaptation of the novel by Philippa Gregory, director Justin Chatwick does a decent job of condensing 15 years of Henry VIII reign into two hours, but history scholars be warned--this is not Anne of a Thousand Days. This film blends some facts with a healthy portion of fiction to create a delicious tale of seduction, manipulation, jealousy and revenge.

The cast is superb. Natalie Portman is stunning as she commands the court and the audience as Anne. Portman is exceptional; she presents Anne Boleyn as both intelligent and sly. Scarlett Johansson hold her own as the older, more mature sister, but pales alongside Portman. Eric Bana {who's I'm rather indifferent to} is quite the charmer as Henry VIII. The supporting cast is a solid group. Kristen Scott Thomas, Mark Rylance and Jim Sturgess are the immediate Boleyn family, but uncle Thomas Howard--Duke of Norfolk--is a piece. David Morrissey is vile, plotting and despicable as he trades woman without regard. Ana Torrent as Henry's first wife, Katherine of Aragon is strong foil to Portman and Johansson.

The opulent production is wonderful to look at. The film is layered with a stunning richness. Brocades, jewels and tapestries leap off the screen. The costuming and settings are remarkable. The castle is some of the best CGI I've seen this year. The screenplay is perhaps the film's one weakness. The plot meanders and doesn't solidly tie up all the events. All is forgiven because of such strong portrayals by Portman, Bana and Morrissey.

The Other Boleyn Girl is an gorgeous period drama that succeeds thanks to spot-on, intelligent performances and beautiful production. The film is sure to become a guilty pleasure.

Easy Rider (1969)

This quintessential 60s counter-culture film is something to see; it's also hard to quantify. It's a character driven storyline of Wyatt (Peter Fonda) and Billy (Dennis Hopper) as they hit the road in a celebration of what exactly?! Individualism, maybe? I think that is the point-- Easy Rider is celebration of what and where you are in life.

Easy Rider is a history lesson. It's a period piece that captures a time of fear, prejudice, societal norms and those who chose to live outside them.

Directed by Dennis Hopper, the film is almost mundane in it's approach. Though drug use is a part of the film, it hardly defines it. There is nothing grandiose or 'cinematic'. Easy Rider feels honest and gritty. There is a scene where Wyatt and Fonda are repairing a flat tire in the background while two cowboys are shoeing a horse in the foreground that speaks volumes.

The soundtrack is a 60s hit-list from the likes of Steppenwolf and Bob Dylan. The cinematography is beautiful with sweeping vistas of the American highway. Peter Fonda is amazing as is a young Jack Nicholson.

Depending on your point of view, Easy Rider will be one of two things. You'll either find it dated and clumsy or a remarkable commentary of the day.

Nancy Drew (2008)

Nancy Drew (Emma Roberts) has made quite a name for herself in River Heights by always being one-step ahead of local law enforcement. The young sleuth loves the thrill of mystery. When her lawyer father Carson (Tate Donovan) heads to L.A., Nancy is right alongside. Although she commits to becoming a normal teenager at her father's insistence, mystery finds Nancy. Before long, she's on the case of a 1950s screen siren's murder and someone doesn't want any 'meddling kids' around.

The stories of Nancy Drew from Carolyn Keene filled my impressionable years with adventure, mystery, and fun like no other. Those yellow-spined tomes still make my heart jump. 2007's adaptation of the literary gumshoe had no chance.

Emma Roberts is adorable. She tries. Nothing, however, can save this movie from itself. The screenplay is deplorable and instead of developing the literary character, writer/director Andrew Fleming reinvents the beloved character to modern day--Smallville drops and all. Fleming explains away Nancy's propensity for sweater sets, headbands and penny loafers as "I like old things."

The production is solid and obviously respects the well-known character. Part mystery, part comedy, the film is enjoyable. The cast obviously relish their roles as the film has a carefree attitude towards the most glaring and unrealistic of story lines. Cameos from Chris Kattan, Eddie Jemison and Bruce Willis are also fun.

Nancy Drew goes the way of {now svelte} Care Bears and {annoyingly sassy} Strawberry Shortcake. What's next?! My Little Pony?! PLEASE stop ruining my childhood memories!!!

For what it is, Nancy Drew is a family-friendly girl-power movie. If it inspires another generation to read, I'm happy. Don't watch, as I do, expecting to see the Bess, Hannah, and Nancy Drew of Keene--just enjoy for the decidedly safe send-up it wants to be.

Guarding Tess (1994)

In my defense, a 'friend' recommended this one. Even gave me the copy to borrow. Yeah, I don't know if I consider them a friend now. This is just stupid.

The premise is simple. Insane Shirley MacLaine stars as a widowed former President's wife. Nicolas Cage is the Secret Service Agent in charge of protecting her. They don't get along. Surprise!! But it's all a front to prevent each other from knowing that they really care. It doesn't take much to jump the shark with this one. Some ill-planned coup to kidnap and ransom Tess (MacLaine) hardly gets off the ground. What a waste of time!!

This is pathetic. Maybe back in the day (1994) this was consider good. As I see it, every available copy should be burned. Then again, those were VHS back in the day--they're decomposing as I blog. Maybe there is a God.

First impressions

I waited all day for 5:00 this evening--I couldn't wait much longer. I've got it now and I've just got to share my first impression of Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, Coldplay's latest offering. I've had the album for less that three hours and I'm enraptured. Coldplay is back, playing around with new sounds, it's quite brilliant. It's expansive. Violet Hill is in the early lead for my fav track.

~~~

The Company is all about engaging their employees. As part of their quest to engage their employees, this month's book club is all about filling your bucket and finding your strengths. So we took this test.

My results seem to imply I'm one van short of being a serial killer. Here are my five 'signature themes' in the order of dominance {with a short explanation}.

Strategic: This theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a sill that can be taught. It's a distinct way of thinking. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. This is your Strategic them at work: "What if?" Select. Strike.

Deliberative: You are careful. You are vigilant. Everything may seem in order, but beneath the surface you sense the many risks. You are a fairly serious person who approaches lie with a certain reserve. For you, life is not a popularity contest, life is a minefield. You identify the dangers, weigh their relative impact, and the place your feet deliberately.

Learner: You love to learn. Whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. You are energized by the steady and the deliberative journey from ignorance to competence. The Thrill of the first few facts, early efforts to practice what you've learned--this is the process that entices you.

Intellection: You like to think. You like mental activity. This need for mental activity may be focused (solving a problem, developing an idea, or understanding another person's feelings) or lack focus. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it's your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective and are your own best companion as you pose yourself questions.

Input: You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information--words, facts, books, and quotes--or you might collect tangible objects. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. Yours is the kind of mind that finds many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity.

Those who know, so far, have said these things are right on target. I agree. Now, The Company, wants us all to focus on those strengths and enjoy personal and career success through consistent performance.

*rolls eyes* It's like the best Internet quiz ever!!

~~~

My brother went to Bonnaroo this past weekend. I called him up to get the scoop. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hey dude, how was it?!

Him: Awesome.

Me: Sa-weet!

Him: Yeah, but Metallica sucked.

Me: WHAT?!

Him: Yeah, they should've played more old stuff. I didn't bother to wait for Wide Spread Panic.

Me: Yeah, I wouldn't either. Can't believe Metallica sucked. Even at their worst, they're still cool.

Him: Whatever. We just went back to camp and slept some more.

Me: I heard a lot of people were pissed at Kanye.

Him: Yeah, he sucked, too. I didn't bother long with him. Everybody was chanting 'f^ck Kanye'.

Me: I don't see why people put up with that arrogant prick. What a jerk. All he does is rap how wonderful he is and then pretty much says f^ck you all.

Him: Yeah, he was like two hours late in starting.

Me: Bet The Raconteurs were awesome. I read in the paper Jack White and that Brenden dude traded licks for hours.

Him: Yeah, I checked them out online. I didn't like their set though. They don't sound good live.

Me: Dude! WTF?! We're you stoned the whole time. I mean what exactly did you enjoy?!

Him: The comedy tent was cool. Hey, we did see Allison Krauss and Robert Plant.

Me: OMG!! Aren't they brilliant?!

Him: No, they are totally overrated. We went back to camp and slept for the afternoon.

Me: Don't you know who Robert Plant is?!

Him: Yeah. He was cool; I would have preferred them separate. The set was way too country for me.

Me: Dude, you suck! Are you SURE you enjoyed it?!

Him: Yeah, it was fun. We missed Jean Garafolo at the comedy tent.

Me: That liberal lesbo?! God, I hate her. She's a loud-mouth loser.

Him: Yeah, but _____ likes her.

Me: Well tell her I think less of her now.

Him: Come over this weekend; I've got some awesome pics to show.

Me: Cool.

Jumper (2008)

Years ago, David (Hayden Christenson) discovered he could teleport. Soon after that discovery, he left behind his broken home, the school bullies, and the sadness. Now in New York, David robs banks to support his wild self-indulgent lifestyle that he shares with us: "Let me tell you about my day so far. Coffee in Paris, Surfed the Maldives. Took a little nap on Mount Kilimanjaro. Oh yeah, and I got digits from this Polish chick in Rijo. And then I jumped back for the final courter of the NBA finals. Court side, of course. And all that was before lunch." All the stuff in the world, though, cannot take away the sadness of his mother's departure and the desire to feel love and connection.

David's brashness attracts the attention of fellow Jumper, Griffin (Jamie Bell). Desperate for a connection with someone, anyone, he takes to Griffin only to be rebuked. Griffin informs David of his freak-nature and the battle that has been waged for centuries, just before Rowland (Samuel L. Jackson) jumps through the wormhole.

Rowland is a Paladin--the sworn enemy of Jumpers {Thanks Griffin for the history!} Rowland is a jealous, overtly-religious, electric-stick welding fellow determined to bring David down. Still with me? What follows is an ultimately cat and mouse game for survival.

Director Doug Liman has all the elements of a blockbuster on his hands, but doesn't make much from it. Action, drama, super-powers, even a hot cast can't keep Jumper from being more than mediocre. Hayden Christenson {still painfully wooden} stars as David. He's cute, but wooden. Samuel L. Jackson murders his role flawlessly. Diane Lane cameos as David's mother--who's a Paladin. Surprise!! Did I ruin it for you? Rachel Bilson and her doe eyes gets to be pretty. The real star of the show is Jamie Bell. Alongside Woody, he is brilliant as the ambiguous Griffin.

Jumper is a solid, predictable and underdeveloped film. The production is slick with remarkable CGI and cinematography. Liman skills in that department help save Jumper. Teleportation is a sexy ride; each jump is thrilling and cool. The jump locales are incredible. Jumper moves at a good clip thanks to the action sequences.

It's in the lack of plot that my disappointment shows. This is an original concept. I'm not perturbed at David's narcissistic tendencies, although I did hear Uncle Ben say "with great power, comes great responsibility" when David clicks the TV off after watching a human disaster. The characters aren't fleshed out enough to create intrigue. Even more frustrating is Liman bothers to raise additional questions, but doesn't bother to answer any of them. The ending comes too quickly and too sweetly. Ultimately, I came away with 'is that all?!'

Check reality at the door and Jumper will be an entertaining waste of time.

The United States of Leland (2003)

Leland P. Fitzgerald (Ryan Gosling) is sad-misguided soul. When he stabs and kills his ex-girlfriend's retarded younger brother, it leaves the community in shock. No one, not even Leland, can explain why. Enter Pearl Madison (Don Cheadle). Pearl, the detention center's teacher and aspiring novelist is fascinated by this mild-mannered, soft-spoken boy. It's in Pearl quest to befriend the boy and determine what makes him tick, that he discovers Leland's motivation for the killing.

The United States of Leland is a monotonous, self-indulgent movie that makes you want to punch the kid next door. Yes, that kid.

Director Matthew Ryan Hoge has a mess-terpiece on his hands. While I {truly} understand the point he's trying to make, he doesn't make me care. Young Ryan Gosling is fascinating to watch, but the movie is pitiful. The {non}supporting cast is a who's who of misfits: Kevin Spacey, Lena Olin, Michelle Williams, Jena Malone, Chris Klein, and Don Cheadle.

There are no redeeming quailities in The United States of Leland. Let me spoil it for you. The director implies that Becky (Malone) breaking it off with Leland pushes Leland over the edge. He was already on the edge because of his non-existent relationship with his famous author and prick father (Spacey). In an additional subplot, Allen (Klein) gets himself sent to the same detendtion center as Leland in order to avenge the brother's murder so that the older sister, Julie (Williams) will get back with him.

The United States of Leland is a pretensious metaphor for crap.

"Whenever I look back on the best days of my life...

I know what it is now. Sometimes I wish my worries and self-doubt could be washed away like my shampoo.

In the course of my day I mix with all sorts of people. The blue collar, the high roller, the soccer mom, the trophy wife, the old and young. Most days, it's no bother. Some days, like today, it gets to me.

In floods the self-doubt and I begin to think. Where am I now? What have I become? Where am I heading? Days like this I allow the people around me to have undue influence; they get in my head and my thoughts screw with me.

Tonight, on the long commute home, I thought. "Maybe these are the best days of my life and I don't even realize it." I wonder. Am I so caught up in comparing myself with my brothers/friends/co-workers/acquaintances and their seeming accomplishments that I don't recognize my own?!

I haven't felt like this in ages. It feels like I'm 16 age. This feeling of not belonging, not being like everyone else. Not having the experience that others bond over. I feel like an outsider.

I am. Taking a step back. I am an outsider; outside is a remarkable place to be. Embrace it and it is a powerful thing. It makes you different; it brings attention. Ultimately, though, it is up to you to make that difference count.

...I want to say, "I'm living them."

Random Ruminations

How well do you know your Star Wars references? Check this quiz from the folks of mental floss. Use the force! This nerd scored 80% (8 out of 10).

I'm anxiously awaiting Coldplay's new album Viva la Vida. Set to drop this time next week, I've been keeping up with all the chatter. This is a solid take. I don't love or hate the album title. More than anything the anticipation of the sound is nerve wracking. Having to wait this long between albums... hope it's real and relevant.

Today's my birthday. Although I'm between noteworthy ages, this one is incredibly hard. I can't put my finger on it exactly. I'm not in the mood to wax nostaligic, be disappointed or really care. Surely it's nothing a bowl of Lucky Charms can't fix, right?

The Man Who Cried (2000)

Jewish father leaves child to start new life in America. Child immigrates to England. Years later, child, now young woman (Chrisina Ricci) is a no-nonsense showgirl in Paris. WWII begins. Susie becomes involved with gypsies. Falls for Cesar (SMOKIN' Johnny Depp). Encouraged by Cesar, Susie escapes to America. Finds father with new family. Susie and father reunite. Father dies.

Depp, other than looking amazing, does nothing. Neither does Ricci--she just gazes absent-mindedly into the camera. Cate Blanchett engages in the worse Russian accent you're heard. This is awful!!

The only person crying here is me. What a god-awful messterpiece!! Melodramic and painful to watch, The Man Who Cried isn't even arty. It's crap!

TV: Fear Itself

Did anyone catch the premiere of Fear Itself on NBC tonight? This summer series is made up of 13 single episodes that come from the new crop of horror ‘masters’—the creators of the Saw series, Freddy vs. Jason, American Psycho and The Machinist. The 60 minute debut of ‘The Sacrifice’ was a farce. It will take more than a backwards-ass vampire, his Pantene-hungry virgins and too predicable story-telling to scare up anything. Guess I'll get it a couple more episodes.

The House of Mirth (2000)

mirth: noun - 1. gaiety or jollity, esp. when accompanied by laughter, 2. amusement or laughter

The House of Mirth: movie - A dreadful, depressing, poor adaption of the Edith Wharton's novel written and directed by Terrence Davies.

The ensemble cast, led by Gillian Andersons includes Dan Akroyd, Anthony Lapaglia, Eric Stoltz, and Laura Linney. Individually, they're great. Collectively, this is awful. Granted the cast doesn't have much to work with. Each performance is wooden and pained. There is no chemistry between any of the stars. It makes you wonder if they were somehow legally obligated to make this--why else would this cross-section of Hollywood be here?

The plot line is poorly scripted, therein lies its demise. Typical of productions of this magnitude, the period costumes and settings are immaculate, but nothing can save this dreck. Avoid this 2+ hour train wreck.