The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Though an apt description of my past week, The Nightmare Before Christmas is known as the film of young suburban misanthropic Goths.  Dazzling stopmotion animation delights onscreen, but this viewer found the movie lacking charm.  Full disclosure: I gave up after 38 minutes.

It seems Jack Skellington, the king of Halloween Town is tired of the screaming and scaring every 31st of October.  Somehow he finds the door to Christmas Land and is dumbfounded by it as I am of this film.

The self-indulgent score overpowers every element.  Jack Skellington seems to be a character worthy of our compassion, but his elocution is pitiful.  The viewer cannot relate if he does not understand.

Unique as it may be, The Nightmare Before Christmas falls flat.  Stop-motion animation is a fabulous technique.  The film is fascinating to look at, but  you quickly get over that to find the story is unappealing.  It's tedious.  The musicality is the film's weakness.  Garbled and monotonous, the songs just aren't good.

As I see it, Tim Burton and director Harry Selick missed the mark with this one.  I'm at a loss to explain the film's cult following.  The film is a mess.  Burton's Corpse Bride is a far superior piece. Selick fares better with James and the Giant Peach or the creepfest Coraline.  The Nightmare Before Christmas is just that.

A Dickens of a Christmas (2009)

This weekend Downtown Historic Franklin Tennessee was transformed into 19th Century Victorian England.  Mr. Dickens' himself was out and about on the mild December day enjoying the revelry.

Tolerable as I was, my companion for the day, Angelino and I meandered through the town sightseeing and people watching.  The city streets lacked for not for entertainment.  Threatening to breck into some Riverdancing, I had to move Angelino along.  We were nearly trampled by the careening carriage.

Sadly, we were disappointed by the period dancing which turned about to be a square dance calling without the square dancing.  These folks look as if a spring of holly had be inserted in an most uncomfortable of locations.

Missing from the day's events were roasted chestnuts and actual characters.  Mr. Scrooge was a most displeasing man.  Cold and embittered, I felt a pang of sadness for a poor soul.  But I whole hearted agreed that anyone going about with a 'Merry Christmas' on his lips should be boiled in his own pudding with a stake of holly through his heart--especially after our foray into the Cool Springs Mecca--an unholy of places.  Consumerism is god.  Rudeness his maidservant.

The day was a rounding success in keeping with the situation!

Joyeux Noel (2005)

Inspired by the true events of WWI, Joyeux Noel recounts Christmas Eve 1914 when French, German, and scottich soldiers found common ground in thoughts of home. Building up to the Eve, we follow a French Lieutenant, a drafted world-class tenor, a Catholic priest, and a pair of brothers. The French receive champagne to celebrate the holiday on the front lines. The Scottish receive bagpipes, the Germans miniture Christmas trees much to chargrin of their commandant. From each foxholes rises a celebration uniquely their own.

On the strains of Silent Night a truce is made. The harsh realities of war are forgotten if only for a day. The soldiers share drinks and pictures of home. They pause soccer games and singing to bury their dead. As friendships emerge, each man resolves himself as when morning breaks they are to become enemies once more.

Filmed in German, French,and English, Joyeux Noel is a rare foreign film that transcends agendas in part to writer/director Christian Carion.  He keeps from the sentimental and chooses to celebrate humanity and showcase the futility of war.  He is steadfast in finding the beauty among the ugly.

Joyeux Noel is a more than a holiday film.  It is a drama of significance, celebrating a unique brotherhood.

Scrooge (1970)

Albert Finney (Big Fish, The Bourne Ultimatum) is Ebenezer Scrooge in this musical rendition of Charles Dickens’ perennial favorite. Thought I had seen every interpretation, but this musical was new to me. Scrooge isn’t cold, or witty, or hateful, but rather he looks to be sucking on sour marbles. The contorted, puckered face is off-putting.

The real treat is Sir Alec Guinness as Jacob Marley. The character has a stronger role here. In retrospect, one can see the influences of this film on the most recent release. I see Zemeckis’ version in a whole new light. The special effects found here are perfectly moribund. The ghosts of Past, Present, and Future Christmas are fascinating. But the film really lacks luster for me.

Let’s be honest. The musical number can’t win any awards. The warbling herein borders on torture. They all last a little too long. The Scrooge/Marley foray into hell is silly.

It’s funny how polarizing Dickens’ short story has become. Scrooge is the favorite of many a friend and colleague. I, however, am steadfast in my love of Alistair Sims. As I see it, there is a version for us all.  Which one do you prefer?  Do tell!

A Christmas Carol (1938)

This adaptation of the Dicken’s classic is an oldie but not too goodie. I don’t take issue with the artistic liberties of director Edwin Marin (The Invisible Man). Rather, I am disappointed by the lack of charm.

Reginald Owen (Mary Poppins) stars at Ebenezer. The poor man pales in comparison to Alistair Sims and George C. Scott. Gene Lockhart looks strangely familiar but I can’t place him. Overall, the cast is nice bunch of MGM stars.  Ann Rutherford is gorgeous as Ghost of Christmas Past.  Nephew Fred played by Barry Mackay is a real treat.

As I see it, you can’t go wrong with any adaptation of A Christmas Carol. I just prefer my gems to sparkle.  Interesting trivia: Lionel Barrymore was originally tapped to star in this version, but bowed out due to injury.

The History Channel Presents: Christmas Unwrapped (2005)

The origins of the most celebrated holiday and its greatest traditions are examined in this History Channel special.  It's not all holly jolly; so don't watch if you don't want to know.  Harry Smith narrates.

Rooted in Pagan rituals, Christmas became the commericalized event it is now long after the Puritans banned, the Catholics assumed it, and England reveled in it.  The History Channel--much like this holiday-- is no respecter of religions so those who deem Christmas to be the birth of the Christ child could be dismayed.

Bawdy events of the Norse Winter Solstice would eventually become the first 'Christmas'.  It was a day of debauchery.  When the taverns and pubs couldn't be banned, our religious ancestors chose to 'join' them.  Poinsettias, St. Nick, and the first Christmas trees and cards--courtesy of Prince Albert--are traced through history with often time interesting results.  The history behind Dickens' short story and its effects on the holiday are equally interesting.

Christmas Unwrapped is a historical treat for holiday lovers.  The documentary makes no judgements, but serves to inform.  So whether you worship at the Wal-Mosque or not, the holiday is ultimately what you make it.  Grab your wassail and enjoy!

A Christmas Carol (2009)

Robert Zemeckis was going to lose this battle the moment I set foot in the theatre. Nothing compares to the classic 1951 version starring Alistair Sims. But in Zemeckis’ defense (not that he needs any); his animated adaptation of the iconic tale is a delightful reimaging.

Admirably faithful to Dickens’s tale, A Christmas Carol takes few artist liberties. The ones that Zemeckis bravely executes add a modern charm that is commendable. The 3-D effects (now, for the record, this is the first film that I’ve viewed since the 3D epidemic took hold in Hollywood) are arresting and beautifully rendered.

Star of the show—Jim Carrey, surprisingly enough, is lost in the film. Though we see glimmers of the spastic star, the motion-capture is top-notch and his ugly face doesn’t come through. Scrooge's expressions are more lifelike with subtle changes. Colin Firth as Scrooge’s nephew is a sweet surprise. Bob Cratchit (voiced by Gary Oldman) is a bulbous, nearly lifeless fellow--a true disappointment.

The Ghosts of Past, Present, and Future rendered are faithful, if sometimes oddly frightening. A few particularly dark scenes mar an otherwise family-friendly fare. They are truly terrifying and out of character, but I am a classicist. Modern film-goers will find no issues with the aforementioned.

The scoring is complimentary. Andrea Bocelli sings a beautiful piece over the nondescript closing credits. What a waste!

Here’s the part where I leave, once again, my readers with a quizzical expression. Visually, Zemekis’ A Christmas Carol is arresting, but often times, I feel the ‘flying over and through London’ is pure filler, detracting from essential elements. At one point, I felt nauseous. Additionally, I take to task the overly diabolical element of our specters. This film does not have the charm of previous renditions, nor do I think it captures the true spirit of the novel.

This version is all style with no substance. But criticisms aside, most movie-goers will find A Christmas Carol a decent if unsatisfying film.

About a Boy (2002)

Living off the royalties of his father's legacy, fashionable Londoner Will Lightman (Hugh Grant) is the epitome of shallow. His lifestyle affords him the opportunity of doing nothing. So Will spends his days searching for available women. Bored and alone, Will wonders if this is all life is. 15 year-old Marcus (Nicholas Hoult) is the son of a emotional, quirky, and suicide-prone Fiona (Toni Collette). A chance meeting develops into an odd and unexpected friendship for both boys as Will and Marcus learn life's lessons.

About A Boy is a surprisingly effectual dramedy. Hugh Grant is his charming self, but unlike his typical rom-com fare, About A Boy takes an unexpected and enjoyable turn that celebrates life and friendship. Grant does more than just look good; he imbues Will with a gradual transformation from emotionally stunted boy to maturing, responsible adult. Young Hoult plays a sad little kid nicely. Toni Collette plays her neglectful mother to a tee {annoyingly good}. Rachel Wiesz appears in a small, uncredited role.

About A Boy takes a 'it takes a village' approach to Marcus' story, but directors Chris and Paul Weitz allow the film to grow, almost organically, focusing on Marcus and Will's friendship. The sub-plots: Fiona, school-bullies, Will's shallow lifestyle, all become unnoticed in the course of the film.

Based on Nick Hornby's best-seller, this film could have been a lot of things. Fortunately, About A Boy is more than it should--which is lame. Instead you'll find a genuine story with surprising heart.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

Taking an exagerated page from my own family, Clark (Chevy Chase), Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo), Russ (Johnny Galecki) and Audrey (Juliette Lewis) Griswold prepare for the holiday onslaught of food anf family. Big eyed and more excited that little Russ, Clark pulls out all the stops for the Griswold Christmas Extravganza! Good intentions spiral into holiday mishaps and downright disasters making for good fun to be had by all.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is a Christmas classic in my book. Over-the-top, hysterically funny, what makes it special is it's so gosh darn relatable. The Griswold's Christmas is filled with tradition; isn't everyone's?! Clark's excitment for the holiday is infectious and not even his crazy cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid), the squirrel infested tree, or the chic neighbors next door can quell his Christmas spirit.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is as festive as your Aunt Betty's holiday sweaters only WAY more fun (and less embarrasing). Fill the moose punch cups because "We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

A Christmas Carol (1999)

This made- for-TV adaptation of the Charles Dicken's classic novel stars Patrick Stewart as Ebenezer Scrooge. It blows.

Elf (2003)

Each year, Elf makes my list of must-see holiday films. It's quickly becoming a new classic. One you just can't help loving year after year.

Will Ferrell stars as Buddy, a human, raised (by Bob Newhart) in the North Pole as a toy-making elf. The trouble is, he's no good at it. Confronted with the truth, Buddy decides to travel to Manhattan to find his real dad (James Caan)

Directed by Jon Favreau, Elf is a holiday riot. It doesn't ask much from it's audience. The cast goes for the gusto with Ferrell leading the way. Buddy is this innocent man/boy discovering the evils of the real world, but he's so innocently clueless--it's hysterical. Ferrell plays him straight with delightful physical comedy and random joyous dialogue. Zooey Dechanel plays Buddy's love interest. Their courtship is sweet without being cloying. Caan is perfectly hateful. Ed Asner plays Santa {that's weird}.

Don't be a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. Take Elf for what it is--holiday fun--and you'll enjoy every minute {and won't mind feeling incredibly goofy while doing so.}

White Christmas (1954)

Back then women were women, men were men and everyone was glamorous. White Christmas is a holiday classic in every sense of the word. Starring pop crooner Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye as war buddies who fall for a sisters played by Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen. Throw in an aging war hero and their genuine efforts to show they care and you've got yourself a movie!

White Christmas is a simple enough plot, but thanks to gorgeous set dressings and fabulous costumes, the film simply sparkles. Each musical number gives opportunity for our cast to step, tap, and sing their way into our hearts.

Growing up, I could never decided which sister was more beautiful. Judy (Ellen) or Betty (Clooney). Today, my money's on Clooney. Her number, 'Love, You Done Me Wrong' is classic vamp. Danny Kaye as Phil Davis is so fun to watch. His physical comedy and stellar dancing are perfect. Each musical number is a treat.

From Crosby's cardigan-wearing-pipe-smoking Bob Wallace to the odd-ball supporting characters {mutual, I'm sure!}, White Christmas is purely sentimental and delightful this time of year.

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

Whether you enjoy the B&W original or the newly colorized version {that evokes the sepia tones of yesteryear}, Miracle on 34th Street is a Christmas classic.

The story of a sensible little girl, Suzie (Natalie Wood) and her sensible mother, Doris (beautifully played by Maureen O'Hara) learn to believe. A drunk Santa in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade gives way to a bearded Kris Kringle (Edmund Gwenn) who plainly shares he's the Santa. As a Macy's supervisor, Doris is concerned about the mental well being of Mr. Kringle. Hilarity gives way to a heartwarming story that cynics and optimists alike can enjoy.

Either version is simply beautiful. Edmund Gwenn actually won a Best Supporting Actor for his role here. I love his version of Santa--sick of the commercialization of the holiday, merry and gentle-hearted. The 1940's era set and costuming hearken to a America at her best.

Skip the remakes! Smart, humorous dialogue, characters to relate, intriguing plot-line--I mean, imagine, Santa on trial!--makes Miracle on 34th Street a must-see during the holiday.

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Chrismas (1966)

This animated classic never fails to warm the soul. The original collaboration between animation innovator Chuck Jones and literary genius Theodor Geisel brings to life Dr. Seuss' world beautifully.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas is the epitome of classic. The animation is pure Jones and wonderfully rendered. Mt. Crumpit and Whoville are exactly as they should be. Max and Cindy Lou are delightful, but it's the narration by the legendary Boris Karloff that gives the film it's life. In his rich baritone, the film jumps off the screen. The inflection and warmth of two oh so distinct voices is so engaging. Then there's the score. Delightfully silly, incredibly memorable and perfectly singable. Every word perfect.

Avoid all imitators; they fall painfully short. See Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas. See this one! This film is Christmas.