House of 9 (2005)

This low-budget and ultimately forgettable imitation of Saw stars Dennis Hopper as a Catholic priest.

The Trouble with Harry (1955)

The trouble with Harry is he’s dead and nobody in the small town knows what to do with his body. Capt. Wiles (Edmund Gwenn) thinks he killed him while out shooting rabbits. Miss Gravely (Mildred Natwick) knows she did it, but Harry shouldn’t have grabbed her. Jennifer Rogers (Shirley MacLaine) thinks she did it and Sam Marlowe (John Forsythe) didn’t but wishes he did.

This macabre murder mystery comes from director Alfred Hitchcock. Making The Trouble with Harry worth the trouble, is the gallows humor and the ‘will they or won’t they’ suspense from the ensemble cast. Poor Harry is buried and dug up over the course of a day in this nice little tourist town.

The production is, of course, top-notch. Hitchcock’s direction is unparalleled. He frames Harry’s death with autumn in Vermont making quite the juxtaposition. The Technicolor is brilliant making the scene oddly morbid. Unexpected shots, gory details and comedic timing to die for enhance superb performances by John Forsythe and Edmund Gwen.

As I see it, The Trouble with Harry is a clever unstated comedy—sadly, it’s probably lost on modern film fans. That’s too bad, because this is one of Hitchcock’s most twisted.

That Thing You Do (1996)

This film is as bland as the title suggests.

Old School (2003)

I'm wishing for 90 minutes of my life back right now.

Letters to Juliet (2010)

Letters to Juliet is a sufficient romantic comedy complete with the prerequisites sans vapidity:

• Dashing male interest (Christopher Egan)who is misunderstood as a jerk, but is actually a socially-aware and kind-hearted sap
• Oddly-beautiful single girl (Amanda Seyfried) who has it all, but is dissatisfied with career thereby causing her to reconsider her young life's work
• Loser boyfriend who under appreciates said single girl (played by Gael Garcia Bernal)
• Astute mentor (Vanessa Redgrave) who is able to dispense wise words over a glass of wine while mentally calculating how to hook up her single girl pal with a charming suitor
• a soul-searching journey (across Italy) on behalf of someone else (see mentor) but ultimately reaping rewards alongside said person (see oddly-beautiful single girl)
• 'warm glow'
• one 'look up at the stars at night and ponder' sequence
• mild innuendo
• easy physical comedy
• soft scoring

Letters to Juliet is an easily enjoyable film for the romantic.  Vanessa Redgrave steals the show as Claire, but kudos to Amanda Seyfried who holds her own.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

How about you pretend not to read this and I'll pretend I didn't see it.  DEAR GOD!  MY EYES!!  OH!!  MY EYES!!

British Favourites: Being Human (2008-??)

The British do it better.



A vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost rent a flat.  No, its not the beginning of a joke.  But it is the premise for another stellar BBC production.  And while the description alone would lead the viewer to think comedy, Being Human is so much more.

Mitchell, the vampire and his werewolf buddy, George rent a flat haunted by a ghost names Annie.  The odd trio help each other survive being immortal in a mortal world.  Mitchell is on the wagon--swearing off human blood.  George refers to his mutation as his 'time of the month'.  Annie is trying to figure out why she can't pass on.

The combination of dry humor, dramatic spells, modern dialogue, special effects, and overall brilliant execution makes being human an incredible show.  The chemistry between the ensemble is spot-on creating supernatural authenticity.  It's smart, funny, and so very British.

Being Human is another great example of quality programming that very few of us will get to see.  I'm jealous of our friends across the pond. What a shame that our nation's collective IQ doesn't support such awesome productions here.  The debut season is available on DVD from Netflix and Amazon.  Season Two drops next week.

George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead (2009)

I’ve started to think that George A. Romero should retire. Night of the Living Dead is the pinnacle of zed films. Standing alongside is Dawn of the Dead. I will always love Romero for his contribution to pop culture. But stop; please stop.

In what is essentially the undead-hating Hatfields versus the cure-seeking McCoys, Survival of the Dead is an unmitigated disaster. Look, I gave Romero a pass with Diary of the Dead. It has solid social commentary amid a few good frights and laughs. This film has nothing. Even the zombies are bored.

Survival of the Dead asks the question: Can the dead and undead co-exist? Decades of zed-films give us the answer: HELL NO! Romero’s attempt here is uninspired. It’s also unfunny, ungory, and as I see it, unworthy of your time.

The Book of Eli (2010)

In a post-apocalyptic world, Eli (Denzel Washington) travels West determined to deliver a sacred book that will save the world. In his travels, he meets many wanderers. When he stumbles upon a ramshackle town run by Carnegie (Gary Oldman)—a man obsessed with finding the book Eli is protecting.

The Book of Eli is part Mad Max with its gritty, steam-punk feel and part The Matrix with its tight action sequences and mythology. Though the film has as much plot as the two of them combined, I have a feeling you’re either going to love this film or hate it.

The cinematography is amazing. Shots are brilliantly framed, creating untold angles and interest. The play of negative spaces does more to convey bleakness than ever before. The dialogue of the film is limited, so directors Allen and Albert Hughes depend on the atmosphere to create hopelessness and boy, do they succeed. It’s deceptively simple.

As I see it, The Book of Eli is a fine waste of time. The cast is just interesting enough, but it’s really the adept hand of the Hughes brothers that makes this film thought-provoking.