The Wolfman (2010)

For Lawrence Talbot (Benicio del Toro) his life ended the night his mother died. Sent to an insane asylum as a boy, shortly thereafter by his father (Sir Anthony Hopkins), Lawrence leaves the institution a bitter man. When news of his brother’s mauled body reaches him, Lawrence returns to England to find his brother’s killer. When he himself is attacked, Lawrence discovers an insatiable blood lust and an unlikely lineage.

This Gothic reinterpretation of the 1940’s horror classic is more atmospheric than anything. Gloomy, eerie, and foggy—it looks amazing. The special effects are solid. The transformation from man to wolf and back again for Benicio del Toro is seamless. The scares are authentic. The cast is above average and includes Emily Blunt and Hugo Weaving. Danny Elfman’s score is perfectly brooding. It's just somewhere along the way, the plot got shelved.

Del Toro parlays his broken man turned hairy beast into solid, albeit one-sided role. Hopkins is, as always, fascinating, but too obvious. Emily Blunt is stiff. All do well considering the under whelming dialogue. It’s awful. The director fails to build any semblance of emotionality amid the stop and go pacing and with poor story elements, well, it just kills it.

As I see it, The Wolfman is a decent film. It’s visually engaging. But unless you project the original storyline on it, The Wolfman is only as good as its scares.

Time After Time (1979)

Jack the Ripper (David Warner) has escaped Scotland Yard and found his way to the 1970s to continue in his heinous killing using H.G. Wells’ (Malcolm McDowell) time machine. H.G. is determined to set things right again and travels to California in pursuit. Along the way, he meets Amy (Mary Steenburgen), a lonely bank employee. Fascinated by this man with impeccable manners, Amy forms a quick attachment to H.G. who is disappointed that the 20th Century is not the Utopia he hoped.  The unlikely duo partners to hunt down Jack.  Along the way, H.G. and Amy share their worlds.

Time After Time is a great bit of sci-fi adventure. Limited only by the technology available, the film is smart with its cat and mouse play. More interesting is McDowell’s portrayal of writer and scientific wonder H.G. Wells. McDowell is convincing as 19th Century gentleman and scholar. David Warner is equally good as the ambivalent surgeon turned evil incarnate.

All historical inaccuracies aside, Time After Time is a lively thriller. The added subplot of Wells’ assimilation into the 20th Century and whether he would have been pleased or disappointed—here he struggles with the overwhelming violence reported on television—by what he sees gives the viewer something to think about. One of my sci-fi favorites!

Plaguers (2008)

Plaguers wouldn't make the cut on Mystery Science Theatre: 3000. 

Seriously.

Mike Birbiglia: What I Should Have Said was Nothing: Tales from My Secret Public Journal (2008)

I discovered Mike Birbiglia after hearing an interview by Terry Gross on Fresh Air to promote his new book Sleepwalk with Me.  Intrigued enough by his book, I queued this Comedy Central special.  Although this set is likely old news to most; for me, this set is freshly hysterical without the seemingly required foul language.  His approach to comedy is endearing without being obnoxious.

Lord, Save Us from Your Followers (2008)

In this thought-provoking documentary, Dan Merchant takes the Jesus fish to the next level. He wears a jumpsuit plastered with conservative and liberal bumper stickers. Through a man-on-the-street perspective, he examines the cultural divide between ring-wing conservative and socialist leftists.

If Merchant accomplishes anything here in Lord, Protect Us from Your Followers, he succeeds in asking Christians to examine themselves. “You call yourself a Christian, but can you call yourself Christ-like?” he asks where faith and culture collide.

Why do Christians spew such hate and rhetoric? Why do they seem so close-minded? And yet, the leftists mirror their actions and come across as the saner of the two.

As I see it and regardless of where you are on the ideological spectrum, this documentary will challenge not only your faith, but also your actions.

The Stepford Wives (1975) (2004)

The original film starring Katherine Ross as Joanna Eberhart is a complete atmospheric creep-out. Joanna and her husband Walter (Peter Masterson) leave the hustle and bustle of NYC for the peace and quiet of Stepford, Connecticut. Soon after arriving to Stepford, Joanna notices not only a change in her husband, but odd behaviour from its residents. The tension builds as Joanna and her new friend Bobbie (Paula Prentiss) dig deeper into the lives of the neighborhood ladies who seem content with household chores. As the truth is revealed, the viewer alongside Joanna is dying to escape the horror.

In stark contrast is the 2004 remake starring Nicole Kidman and Matthew Broderick. Kidman is pitch perfect as a Stepford wife. Glen Close is equally cold and vacant. But sadly the remake misses its mark. Somewhere between cleverly campy and thrillingly creepy is this waste of time.

As I see it, the original is well-executed psychological thriller. It’s remake is mess-terpiece.

The Ramen Girl (2008)

Eating ramen is more interesting than this dramedy starring the odd waif Brittany Murphy.

White Heat (1949)

Sadistic gangster Cody Jarrett (James Cagney) loves only one woman—his mother. Jarrett is a high-strung, volatile man who leads his gang of ruthless thieves by fear. When he cops to a lesser crime and gets sent up the river, a power struggle for the gang begins. Mom takes control only to be double crossed by Big Ed and Cody’s wife. When Cody hears his mom took it in the back, Cody stages a prison break to get revenge.

White Heat is an incredible character study. Cagney’s Jarrett oozes a demented lust. Ma Jarrett (Margaret Wycherly) is equally fascinating as she manipulates her son and his gang to keep his trust. Virginia Mayo at Jarrett’s two-faced broad is typical of the genre.

As I see it, White Heat is a brilliantly executed drama deserving of its accolades. With its dirty-double crossing and incestuous excess, White Heat has become the standard for an entire genre thanks to Cagney’s remarkable performance.

MacGruber (2010)

I don’t know what I was expecting from the SNL sketch turned feature film—but it had Val Kilmer in it. Surely, he wouldn’t attach his name to a dud. I was wrong—so very wrong.

MacGruber (Will Forte) is an inept and accident-prone special ops agent called back into action to eliminate arch-nemesis and former college buddy, Dieter Von Cunth (Val Kilmer). Also enlisted in this crude charade: Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe, and Powers Booth.

As I see it, MacGruber is all shades of wrong. It’s unfunny and uninspired. It’s a never-ending stream of f-bombs, elementary dialogue, and gay sex jokes. Yeah…that’s real original.

House of Wax (2005)

I'm not a huge fan of the hack 'n' slash genre of horror.  I prefer a finer more nuanced movie; then again, a good scare is aways fun.

There is absolutely NO resemblance to the eerie 1953 classic except the name. The newest iteration dumps the old plot and characters in favor of a gory romp starring hot (DUH!), ill-fated teen who take a shortcut to a football game and due to some incredibly stupid decisions end up in the company of some overly life-like wax sculptures.

House of Wax is a movie about twins. Good ones. Bad ones. Normal, well-adjusted ones. Abnormal, mal-adjusted ones. Carly (Elisha Cuthbert) and Nick (Chad Michael Murray) are the good ones trying to outwit and survive the freakshow that is Bo and Vincent (Brian Van Holt). Meanwhile all the friends played by Paris Hilton, Jared Padalecki, Jon Abrahams, and Robert Richard meet their maker at the hand of a twin.

Speaking of gruesome, each of these murders are disgusting and quite frankly, disturbing. It's all compounded by the casual nature in which these acts are committed. As with most slasher movies, this film lies on the shallow side of things. Don't go for plot depth or character development. Keep it all in perspective and go. Go for the superglued lips. Go for the finger nipped by wire cutters. Go for the dead animal carcasses. Go for the hot wax sprayed on a still alive person. Go for a pole through the head. Go for the decapitation. Go for the scissors, er... go for the sheer diabolical killing scenes.

Chloe (2009)

After she suspects her professor husband (Liam Neeson) of cheating, doctor Catherine Stewart (Julianne Moore) hires call girl Chloe (Amanda Seyfried) to test his faithfulness. Increasingly colorful details begin to intensify all of Catherine’s relationships and ultimately put her family in unexpected danger.

Chloe is an unsuspecting psychological drama that works only because director Atom Egoyan is behind it. In the hands of anyone else, I doubt its success. The casting is top-notch. Amanda Seyfried is surprisingly adept as the title character. She is remarkably authentic despite her unusual beauty. Seyfried parlays Chloe into sexy, ruthless young woman. Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore are fantastical as a six-figure power couple. You want them to succeed, but are secretly jealous of their success.

The film is a sleek and sensual mirage. Egoyan plays the elements creating a world that seduces the viewer, too. From the super modern lines of the residence to the warm glow of the park greenhouse, each element creates an atmosphere reflective of the character onscreen.

As I see it, the startling finish elevates Chloe from average to memorable. But if the film has one flaw, it’s also the ending. The climax, though rushed, is still brilliantly executed. It’s a shame that the ending is so abrupt.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) now has a monopoly on world peace. Too bad the government, his peers, and some evil Russian dude want in.

There’s a lot going on in the sequel to last year’s blockbuster. Back is director Jon Favreau, Robert Downey Jr., Paul Bettany, and Gwyneth Paltrow. Back is the glam, the attitude, and the special effects. Adding to the fray is a who’s who of cool actors including Don Cheadle (OK, he’s not really all that cool), Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Michey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, and John Slattery.

Iron Man 2 is pure popcorn—loud, funny, thoughtless—entertainment. The soundtrack is cool. Stark’s Malibu cliff-side lair is awesome as are all of his toys, friends, enemies, etc.  The film is a solid sequel and everything you'd want in a summer blockbuster.

Girly (1970)

Mumsy, Nanny (Pat Heywood), Girly (Vanessa Howard), and Sonny are a perfect family—a perfectly evil family who lure unsuspecting men into their expansive mansion for role-playing games. Refuse to play by the rules and the new playmates are quickly dispatched to ‘play with the angels’. When Girly and Sonny’s newest friend (Michael Bryant) decides to play by his own rules, the entire household becomes topsy-turvy.

This oddly grisly cult film from the 70s is just weird. Like a train wreck, you can’t look away. Girly isn’t particularly gory despite horrific deaths—it’s the incestuously creepy relationships of the ‘perfect family’ and their Stepford Wives ways that freak this viewer out. Mumsy is clearly the head of the house with her weirdly little ticks. Nanny is obediently subservient. One gets the sense that she’s more than a nanny. Girly is this stunningly beautiful woman who lives in baby-doll gowns and schoolgirl uniforms with pouty lips and heaving chest. Sonny is cruel hateful boy despite his years. Both children sleep in cribs. This perfect family adheres to a whole other set of psychopathic values.

As I see it, Girly--perhaps better known by it’s UK title: Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny, and Girly--is perfectly ghastly. Reminiscent of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, the film is a must for any horror-film fan.