Masterpiece Theatre: Poirot: Murder on the Orient Express (2010)

Hercule Poirot is seen here in his finest hour in Murder on the Orient Express.  The prim Belgium detective is a passenger on the Orient Express bound for London when a murder occurs aboard the train.  Sifting through a litany of suspects, Poirot is puzzled with the evidence leads to more than one suspect.  Can it be true?

Let me say it again: David Suchet makes this detective.  I will never be able to imagine Poirot any other way.  Though the episode is darker and more ominous that we've come to expect, the production is thrilling in part to Suchet's emobodiment of the characters.  Supported by other fine BRitish actors, the production is brilliantly executed.  As with all BBC productions, no expense seems to be spared.

Fans of the detective will no doubt enjoy!

Up in the Air (2009)

Writer/director Jason Reitman’s Up in the Air is a nice movie; too bad it’s boring. And that’s a shame. There’s a great cast led by George Clooney with some obscure favorites like Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, J.K. Simmons, Jason Bateman, Danny McBride and my new, new favorite: Zach Galifianakis. But this movie felt as cold as the airport terminals it was filmed in. No chemistry, no inspiration, no anything.

I miss the wit and humor of Reitman’s earliest work, Thank You for Not Smoking. Just like Juno, the charm of Up in the Air is lost on me.

Dorian Gray (2009)

This retelling of Oscar Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray is a far more visceral experience than you’d expect. It’s an assault on the senses. Lavish, lurid, breath-taking, and sometimes shocking, this is a new look at an old Dorian.

The film’s one success is owed to impeccable performances by Colin Firth and Ben Barnes (Prince Caspian). As Gray, Barnes is perfectly naïve; his decent in hedonism is more direct in this version, but Barnes plays so nonchalant it’s captivating. As chief influencer, Lord Henry Wotton, Colin Firth is at his most devious. Wotton’s infatuation with Gray is reciprocated with disastrous results, but watching Firth and Barnes flirt is something else.

As with any interpretation, the book is merely source material. Director Oliver Parker focuses on sexual deviation as Dorian’s primary corrupter. The book was broader in pleasures, more refined and considered the ramifications of said lifestyle. The film belabours Dorian's bedroom affairs much to the discredit of the director. Sadly, the film doesn’t delve deep enough into the morality--a primary theme of the book--furthering the disappointment for this viewer. Still the brooding Gothic overtones and occasional starts may keep you intrigued.

As I see it, Dorian Gray is a picture show and a gorgeous one at that. The period settings, costumes, and cast are simply stunning. A keen eye will notice the gradation of color as Gray’s descends into debauchery. But the film lacks a key emotional element that makes the book far more interesting.

Guilty Pleasure: The Bodyguard (1992)

Uninspired clichés, bad montages, and equally bad acting does not keep me from enjoying The Bodyguard. As Frank Farmer—a former Secret Service agent who’s lost his mojo—Kevin Costner gives a bad impression of Clint Eastwood. Sullen, direct, no-nonsense, Frank spars with his new assignment: spoiled pop diva Rachel Marron (Whitney Houston). Houston can’t act, but she could sing. Her incredible vocals are showcased here alongside some really bad costume choices.

The effort to create tension between Farmer and Marron is gravely apparent. Let’s face it. Costner and Houston have about as much chemistry at Bert and Ernie. It’s a valiant, but laughable effort. True to his professional duties, he saves the day by taking the gunshot intended for his client. In a panic, she confesses her feelings. But alas, it is not to be. Stoic as ever, Frank leaves Rachel on the tarmac for the Pope. Fade to black.

The Bodyguard is rife with goofs and continuity mistakes further cementing itself as a guilty pleasure. Boom mikes pop-up everywhere. Cigarettes and dolls disappear and magically reappear. The plastic katana sword that Marron uses in the bedroom kills me. The soundtrack is all this film has going for it but in spite of it all, The Bodyguard works.

Piranha 3D (2010)

Combine the bloodshed of storming the beaches of Normandy found in Saving Private Ryan with Girls Gone Wild on location at Panama City Beach and Jurassic Park and you’ve got Piranha 3D.

Flesh bounces, jiggles, glistens, fillets, tears, and bleeds unmercifully in the abomination. Let’s just say director Alexandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes remake, High Tension, Mirrors) goes for broke blurring the line between camp, porn, and bad taste in this rehash of Joe Dante’s 1978 cult classic.

As I see it, just know you are going to see a movie where it is appropriate to yell ‘that’s what she said’ at the screen after every sentence. You’re going for gratuitous nudity, innumerable deaths, and campy humor. You’re going to have blast despite shoddy special effects and nonexistent plot.

Following (1998)

A young writer (Jeremy Theobald) begins to follow random strangers in an attempt to develop material. Enter a local two-bit burglar (Alex Haw) who enters local flats more for the thrill than the theft. Fascinated, the writer job-shadows the burglar and quickly becomes his apprentice.

Writer/director Christopher Nolan brings us this odd B&W noir thriller. Taut, intriguing and claustrophobic Following is reminiscent of Memento without a budget. Nolan must invent that which he cannot afford and it serves the viewer well.  Observatoin is key as Nolan heaps layer after layer of detail upon the senses.  As the layers unfold their secrets, a seediness arises that makes you feel like a voyeur in this blighted London neighborhood. The tension rises to the breaking point with the last ten minutes exploding your mind.

As I see it, Following is a rather auspicious debut from Nolan.  The film is a tight, low-budget masterpiece and a must-see for fans of this director.

Hannie Caulder (1971)

At some point in this western starring a stunning Raquel Welch, Christopher Lee, Ernest Borgnine, Jack Elam, and Robert Culp, it was discovered the budget ran out.  How else can I explain this hodge-podge of events and abrupt ending?!

Dry, dusty hills of Mexico are the backdrop of piddly robbers, over-qualified gunslingers, and Raquel Welch. It was neat to see a youngish Lee.  As I see it, Hannie Caulder is a niche film and not a very good one at that.

Inception (2010)

To review Inception spoils Inception. Suffice to say that writer/director Christopher Nolan has created a thrilling philosophical work. 

Memento remains my favorite from Nolan—it’s the emotional payoff. But this is a close second.

The Other Guys (2010)

Terry ‘The Yankee Clipper’ Hoitz (Mark Walberg) and Allen ‘Paper B!tch’ Gamble (Will Ferrell) play third fiddle to fellow NYC cops and heroes Highsmith (Samuel L. Jackson) and Danson (Dwayne Johnson). When the dynamic duo of H&D meets their unlikely demise, the desk jockeys finally get their chance.

And that, dear readers, is all you’re going to get. Suffice to say the pithy dialogue, voice-over by actor/rapper/bad-a$$ Ice-T and brilliant casting that includes smoking-hot Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton, Steve Coogan, and Ray Stevenson and with cameos by Brooke Shields and Spike Lee create a summer-must see.

A surprisingly relevant, socio-economic commentary—only if you want to look closely—The Other Guys is a finely executed action-packed comedy. The film’s success is in its delivery. The onscreen chemistry between Ferrell and Walberg is top-notch. With both playing straight, the film contains less sight gags than you’ve come to expect from McKay’s productions. The cop clichés don’t hinder the film. Ferrell and Co. use 'em and blow 'em away.

As I see it, The Other Guys is smart rapid-fire comedy. Every element is on par delivering another level of hilariousness. The soundtrack is incredible. Ultimately, it’s the pairing of Ferrell and Walberg that makes it work.

Masterpiece Theatre: Poirot: Appointment with Death (2008)

Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot (David Suchet) is vacationing in Syria when he joins a party at the archaeological dig in for the skull of St. John the Baptist. When Lady Boyton is murdered, Poirot finds himself surrounded by family members with motives.

Suchet embodies Christie’s intrepid detective nicely. While I can’t speak to the faithfulness of the novels, Suchet’s Poirot is everything I imagine him to be. His accent is unforgiving as is his penchant for impeccable grooming.

The supporting cast in this episode include people ‘you know you know’, but can’t put a name with. Who played Evy’s brother in The Mummy? John Hannah! He moonlights here as an enigmatic rogue. Christina Cole—a BBC production staple—plays an eager your doctor trying to catch the eye of the younger Boynton lads. And Tim Curry!! Thick, aged, and delightfully eccentric, Curry appears as the obsessed archeologist Lord Boynton.

As I see it, Appointment with Death is as lavish a production as you've come to expect. Every detail is as refined as Poirot’s moustache. The episode is a surprisingly taut thriller that will have you guessing right up to the end. Fans of the Belgian will not be disappointed.

The Lovely Bones (2009)

When 14-year-old Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) is murdered by a local pervert (Stanley Tucci), she watches her family as they deal with her tragic demise. Dad (Mark Walberg) seeks vengeance. Mom (Rachel Weisz) seeks healing. Her murderer is looking to strike again.

Told from the perspective of the deceased, The Lovely Bones is adapted from the best-selling book. Under the direction of Peter Jackson, the film is an unusual blend of elements.  It's brilliantly cast. Mark Walberg is remarkable as the tormented father. Susan Sarandon as the chain-smoking grandmother adds some levity. Rachel Weisz is sorely underused.   But Saoirse is phenomenal. Ultimately, it is her performance that you should see.

Here’s where it gets tricky. The CGI is amazing. It blends seamlessly throughout the film. But I think Jackson gets wrapped up executing an ‘epic’ and fails the film. He fails miserably. The nature of the film calls for an emotionality that never comes. The Lovely Bones loses itself in fantastical sequences where our doomed Suzie wanes philosophical.

I won’t go so far as to say I feel cheated by the film’s elusive climax. But it will be polarizing. As I see it, The Lovely Bones is a valiant effort by Jackson. But the film is unbalanced--too much CGI, not enough depth.  Sadly he misses the mark with this adaptation.

Invictus (2009)

February 10, 1992 and the apartheid comes to an end with Nelson Mandela elected to the presidency. In his search to unite the people of South Africa, Mandela (Morgan Freeman) turns to the leader of the country’s rugby team—Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon). Challenged by Mandela to help him unite their country, Pienaar sets out to win the 1995 World Cup.

Director Clint Eastwood brings real-life events to the big screen. Adapted from a memoir, Eastwood locks in two fine performances from Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon. Without these two, Invictus would be another formulaic feel-good drama.

Freeman makes Mandela—of whom I know little—interesting. The very embodiment of ‘being the change you want to see in the world’, as Mandela, Freeman spouts wisdom beyond his years. The film gives us an enigma. Damon owns his performance with conviction. He nails the accent and provides us with an understated, determined man in Francois Pienaar. Equally as interesting is the game of rugby. Intricate cinematography, on and off the field, along with stunning scoring by Kyle Eastwood creates a beautiful production.

As I see it, Invictus is not Eastwood’s best. But he’s a fine director and anyone investing in this drama won’t be disappointed.