The following grievances are mine and mine alone. Due to the hypersensitive nature of social media and this litigious society in which we live, my friends, I feel a disclosure is required. Read no further if you do not have the ability to think critically and appreciate sarcasm.
This annual airing of grievances is dedicated to Phil Jones. A man who was my mentor, my friend, and fellow appreciator of pop-culture and all things Seinfeldian whose death continues to leave a void in my life.
Without further ado, I've got a lot of problems with you people and now you're going to hear about it!!
- Gender Neutrality: Last time I checked, I'm still a gir. in this gender phobic world in which I live, I'm still a girl. A woman. A broad. A gal. A b!tch. A chick. I am a female. So, please don't call me dude. Or man. Or guy.
- Automobile Drivers who utilize their horns: Does it make you feel better?! Are you Cruella de
Vil?! Sounds like you might be a mouth-breathing discourteous driver. Quite frankly, if you hadn't pulled up to my bumper while I'm waiting at a red light, you could go around me if you're in such a hurry. Yes, I'm waiting for the intersection to clear. Why?! Obviously, it's your ilk that's running traffic signals and putting us all in danger. You've been warned. Next time, it's all Michael Douglas in Falling Down on you and your automobile. - "It is what it is.": The hell it is! It is what you make it. Chin up and make 'it' better. And if you can't engage your brain long enough to make 'it' better, then follow my lead.
