Enchanted (2007)

What begins as a classic Disney fairy tale meets the realm of modern day New York City ultimately spirals into stupidity.

Someone take pity on Julie Andrews!! Poor thing had to narrate the thing?! Enchanted stars Amy Adams as Giselle, a fairytale princess waiting for true love's first kiss who is banished from animated-land by the evil Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon). What follows is an inane, self-indulgent movie that will have your IQ dropped by half in the 90 minutes it takes to finish up.

Amy Adams is adorable with her doe-eyes. Patrick Dempsey {I don't get it} is the modern-day divorce lawyer who doesn't believe in true love. You can guess the rest.

Susan Sarandon has a great turn as the evil queen. What's even better is her diatribe as the evil dragon dangling from the Empire State building.

Enchanted is harmless, ahem, fun--if you are between the ages of 3 and 8. Sadly, this is not Disney classic material.

Bonus Feature: Book

Volumes have been written about The Beatles. I suppose my biggest annoyance is the propensity for authors to misquote or misrepresent the facts. In all fairness, all books are open to the author's interpretation, but facts are facts. What's worse is often times you will find a book that is 'authoritative' only to discover the supporting docs and notes are hardly sea-worthy.

A Day In The Life: The Music and Artistry of the Beatles by Mark Hertsgaard is a rare gem in the band's catalog. Author Hertsgaard doesn't bother with the personalities or band dynamics. Instead he examines the albums and songs created by the band, exploring themes, origins and ultimately the versions released to the public.

Hertsgaard makes you want to read with the music on as he dissects each album from start to finish. He brings to light some interesting facts regarding the Beatles' work He leads with this one.

"One of the most remarkable facts about the Beatles is that they released only ten and a half hours of music during their years together--the contents of the group's twenty-two singles and fourteen albums. Yet the tapes inside the Abbey Road archives, it turns out, contain more than four hundreds hours' worth of Beatles recordings."

Imagine the treasure trove he found. For Beatles fans, that remark sends chills up the spine. Hertsgaard takes pains to be objective. Quoting from likes of George Martin and Derek Taylor as well as the boys themselves, Hertsgaard backs up his information with extensive source notes. By his own admission, the author refused to use much of the band information currently available simply because of 'facts'.

Even more remarkable is Hertsgaard keeps from the politics and personal lives, examining those only when the benefit is to the album or song. His respect for the Beatles in obvious. He explores the catalogue chronologically taking time to expound on songs that breached societal conscientiousness. The Beatles' music resonates with people of all different creeds and nationalities. Hertsgaard unintentionally explores that here as well.

A Day in the Life: The Music and Artistry of the Beatles will enhance your musical appreciation of the Beatles, easily. The book is a beautiful read. I fell in love with how Hertsgaard seemed to quantify what I often feel in my soul.

News of Interest

NBJ is reporting this story. Let's hope is is a good move for all parties involved. To lose a prime music venue in City Hall kinda bites, but it IS Urban Outfitters. Nice.

Mad Max (1979)

Is it just me or does this melodramatic, revenge movie have homo-erotic undertones?

A young Mel Gibson is clumsy here; his acting reflects his age. Still, he's cute.

Plodding and monotonous, Mad Max might deserves it's cult status, but I can't say. Who likes this stuff?! Seriously.

The Jane Austen Book Club (2007)

After Sylvia's (Amy Brenneman) husband (Jimmy Smits) dumps her for another woman, friends- matriarchal Bernadette (Kathy Baker) and dog-breeder Jocelyn (Maria Bello) organize a book club to support her. Also recruited, is Sylvia's college-aged, lesbian daughter Allegra and prim high-school teacher Prudie (Emily Blunt). The natural choice for the ladies is Jane Austen. Six books and only five people leads Jocelyn to invite sci-fi nerd and avid reader Grigg (Hugh Dancy) who joins in hopes of hitting it off with her.

Six distinctive people read and discuss one Austen novel a month. They soon find parallels between their own lives and Austen's heroines. Prudie contemplates an affair with a student. Sylvia's ex keeps popping up. Jocelyn tries to match Grigg and Sylvia unaware of Grigg's intention. Allegra falls in love only to be hurt and mature Bernadette is looking for her next Mr. Right. The six discover Austen's themes timeless in the age of hybrid cars and Blackberries.

The Jane Austen Book Club is a light film of love and relationships. Far from man-bashing, the movie examines the things we do to cope in out search for unconditional love. The ensemble cast provide strong and subtle performances. Emily Blunt really shines here as Prudie. Maria Bello is a close second. Both ladies are provided the most depth in their story lines. Hugh Dancy is adorable. Although mainly comedic relief, as Grigg, Dancy imparts a preciousness you can't help but 'aww' over. Set in dreamy California, the cast really shines.

Writer/director Robin Swicord (Memoirs of a Geisha) affords her characters a real-world complexity that will resonate with women of all ages. Thankfully, Swicord abstains from man-hating, but rather, examines what we all really yearn for: unconditional love. Also gorgeous
Perhaps in the real world, it wouldn't all be happy endings. Thankfully, Swicord steals from Austen and allows all of our heroines a chance at happiness.

The Jane Austen Book Club is successful on two levels: one as a simple chick-flick--corny, yet charming. Additionally, Austen fans will delight in the constant symbolism and quotes from their favorites novels. Embrace your inner romantic and you'll be enchanted.

Bonus Feature: CD

Maroon 5's debut single Harder to Breathe foretold of things to come from this modern pop/rock group. Love it or hate, Songs About Jane became one of 02's top albums thanks to sharp lyrics, sexy beats and frontman Adam Levine's charisma behind the mike.

Following up five years later with It Won't Be Soon Before Long cements Maroon 5 as a relevant, earworm-inducing band. Their pulsating beats with memorable hooks are infectious. Three for three with radio-friendly singles in Makes Me Wonder, Wake Up Call, and Won't Go Home Without You, Maroon 5 have developed an effortless sound in only two albums.

The album is seamless with a dozen stylish tracks that explore the best and worst of relationships. Wake Up Call is a great F U to a cheating lover. Malice pervades the consciousness thanks to Levine's edgy delivery. In contrast, there's Won't Go Home Without You-a wistful apology and Goodnight, Goodnight, a simple melodic resignation. Levine and Co. reflect, yearn, play and seduce in the tracks found here. Kiwi is a sexy shout-out. Better That We Break is an old school throwback to the days of Martin and Sinatra.

It Won't Be Long Before Soon is a crisp, unforgettable soundtrack from the opening riffs of If I Never See Your Face Again to the ending strains of Back At Your Door. Solid pop is hard to come by. Turn it up; dance along because this is it.

Bonus Feature: Book

For all those who strive for genius {or just useless facts to amaze your friends} let me introduce the best shortcut to come our way.

From relativity to global warming, the Genius Instruction Manual from mental_floss has you covered. Teleportation is important, but where's the good in knowing if you don't look good knowing it?! No one will take you seriously.

Now, you can discuss post-modernism with confidence. The manual includes the simple, like the binary numeral system and the complex, rocket science, as well as essays on awards, patrons, and economic laws. Here you will learn how to correspond, love, dress, plagiarize, and go crazy... like a genius!

The Mist (2008)

It's been some time since a I've felt this manipulated. What further irritates me is that I sat through 127 minutes after remarking midway how manipulated I felt.

Consider yourself warned. I am annoyed; so I will spoil this movie. ***READ NO FURTHER if you don't want to know!!***

Docile small town is also home to armed forces base. Rumor has it experiments go on up on the mountain. Intense thunderstorm brings home damage, power outage and releases mist from mountain. Intense thunderstorm also brings out local townsfolk to the grocery store. Enter Thomas Jane. While in plate-glass fronted grocery store mist rolls in. Thick fog brings with it blood-thirsty creepy-crawlies to the 100th power. Spiders with flesh-melting silk, clawed-tentacled thingies and mosquitoes the size of pterodactyls. Townspeople take refuge. Cocky bastards die first. Crazy, religious nut should die, but that comes later. Thomas Jane takes the lead, wants to save his whiny kid. Day to night. Punk high-schooler dies. Intelligent black guy dies. Crazy, religious nut starts preaching 'expiation'. Die already! Day to night. Crazy, religious nut gets people to drink Kool-Aid. Thomas Jane leads select few to jeep. Ginormous bugs get 3 out of 7. Decide to drive until gas runs out. Mist. More mist. Still mist. Gas runs out. Four bullets, five people. Four people die. Thomas Jane tries to pick fight with creepy-crawlies. Oh snap! Made it to the quarantined area. Fade out.

Writer/producer/director Frank Darabont brings yet another Steven King novella to life. Unlike The Shawshank Redemption or The Green Mile, The Mist is stupid. None of the elements really come together. The dialogue is forced, the actor more so. CG is average at best. Even more annoying-- the score. The score is an eye-roll inducing melodramatic mess. Darabont's attempt at a thoughtful ecological-apocalypse flick is just sad.

Laughable at best, The Mist should be mist.

3:10 to Yuma (2007)

A conversation with a friend led to his mentioning the Western as a 'true American film'. His recent exploration of 'spaghetti westerns' has left him with a respect for the genre. His recommendation of No Country For Old Men included high marks and this description: 'It's a modern western." 3:10 to Yuma didn't garner marks as high, but was still a recommendation.

The Magnificent Seven, Unforgiven, Tombstone, practically the entire career of Clint Eastwood-- those are westerns. John Wayne was ultimately a caricature; his westerns are old-school mainstays. Rooster Cogburn isn't for me. Then again, neither is Eastwood's Preacher. 3:10 to Yuma is solid remake of 1957 {I've not seen} classic. Although it's not quite classic material, the film is still tight.

In exchange for a few hundred dollars and access to water for his heard, small-time rancher Dan Evans (steely-eyed Christian Bale) has agreed to transport captured outlaw Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) to the town of Contention to wait out for the 3:10 train to Yuma prison. The trip to Contention is rife with it as outlaw Wade wreaks psychological havoc on Evans while the outlaw's posse makes their next move.

What raises 3:10 to Yuma from average to good are the stellar performances. Bale and Crowe command the screen. Crowe is brilliant as the indifferent Ben Wade. He presents as a dignified outlaw with principals, albeit skewed ones. Christian Bale brings everything to the table as the beleaguered rancher and father. He's the 'just trying to make ends meet' kind of guy with a wife who no longer shares his dream and a couple of disillusioned kids. The subtle nuances of both characters are phenomenal. Freakin' Peter Fonda is cool as a grizzly old Pinkerton man. Ben Foster is solid as Charlie Prince, the hero-worshipping, maniacal right-hand man of Wade. Prince is young and cocky against Crowe's charming and reserved Wade.

Director James Mangold has fashioned a modern western. Good guys don't always wear white hats; bad guys don't wear black anymore. 3:10 to Yuma is almost ambivalent. Instead, Mangold focuses on the characters, the cause and effects, the first step that muddied the water. No one gets off easy here as each character is made to examine his choices and face their consequences.
Sweeping cinematography presents breath-taking views of the American West with dusty plains and cosmopolitan mining towns as a beautiful score unfolds.

3:10 to Yuma is an exciting contribution to the western genre and personally has me wishing for a revival.

PC: traffic court

Nothing could have prepared me for Traffic Court. Sure, I went in knowing my part in the production. Surrounded by the other players was what was so unusual.

The Honorable Enrobed Judge comes out and covers his ears with what looks like headphones from the 1970s. Sitting down, he quickly dispenses with pleasantries. No disrespect will be tolerated. Almost on cue goes the the first ring of a cell phone. Quelling the obnoxious ring did nothing for the offender. He is escorted out of the courtroom.

We are called alphabetically. 'Allen' looked ready to pee his pants. His mother sits prim as she looks on.

"Allen, you are charged with going 63 in a 40. How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?"

A murmur escapes from Allen's mouth.

"Speak up son," demands the judge.

"Guilty, sir!" Allen overcompensates and practically yells.

It is the same for each of the offenders. Thankfully, I'm somewhere between Allen and Smith. Corlew is before me. He is charged with rolling a stop sign, not wearing a seat belt, and driving without insurance. He pleads guilty to two out of three.

Stepping up to the podium, I felt 3-years old. This time, though, no amount of tears or whining could get you out of this one. Resigned to my fate, I step up.

"You are charged with going 57 in a 40. How do you plead?"

"Guilty, sir." Meekly, yet clear words formed. Was it really me speaking?

"Being as this is your first offense, you have the opportunity to attend traffic school, pay court cost and your ticket will be dismissed. Would you like this chance?"

"Yes, sir. Please."

The gavel bangs.

The judge is a like a major league pitcher. Three up, three down. He doesn't take kindly to shuffling of the feet or smart talk, but doesn't seem to mind hat-head from the high-schoolers and loggers. He has no patience for child safety seat violation.

"Why wasn't your son properly restrained?" Honorably Enrobed demands.

"My husband put the seat in that morning. He didn't do it right." says the mousy-haired mother who hasn't slept in years, I'd guess.

"So, you're going to blame you husband?!" replies the judge, his eyes piercing.

"Um, no," stammers the mother, "Guess I should have looked closer."

Her faux remorse summons the ire of the Honorably Enrobed. "Consider this your warning. If I see your face here again, I will have no mercy!" All he needs is a loud thunderclap and a lightening flash.

Dismissed with bang of a gavel, a date and a shaky signature, the adrenaline ceases and life goes on.

Becoming Jane (2007)

Before she was beloved author, Jane (Anne Hathaway) was the beloved intelligent daughter of an impoverished clergyman (James Cromwell). It is Jane's duty to marry well according to her mother. But a marriage without affection is no life at all according to dear Jane who, at 20, sees the world beyond societal expectations. Rejecting the advances from the nephew of a wealth noble, has Jane's mother (Julie Walters) at wits end. Instead Jane falls for the roguish Tom Lefroy (James McAvoy), a poor Irish lawyer. Their sharp repartee gives way to love and their relationship becomes more than a matching of wits. Both families are determined to intercede but headstrong Jane will not be told what to do.

Anne Hathaway portrays Jane as intelligent, but impudent. She has yet to govern her strong wit. Poorly cast, Hathaway struggles to really embody Austen and her struggle over duty and love, seeking to make them one in the same. James McAvoy is the very definition of 'dashing'. Their on-screen chemistry does make for a lovely couple.

One must remember that Becoming Jane is purely speculation. With that in mind, one can see the film as it is, a period drama of unrequited love. The story, loosely based on two letters exchanged between Jane and her sister Cassandra, builds into a series of events pulled from the novels. Director Julian Jarrold (Kinky Boots) goes for the obvious and mundane. The implication that Austen could not have written without the 'experience' is insulting to the author and fans alike.

As I see it, Becoming Jane works better as a faux-BBC production not as look into the lady who is Jane Austen.

Sydney White (2007)

Cutie Amanda Bynes stars in this dorky interpretation of a classic fairy tale set on college campus. During pledge week, Sydney White (Bynes) plans to join the Kappa Sisterhood, the same sorority of her (now deceased) mother. Sydney, an All-American tomboy doesn't fit in the clique and soon finds herself on the outside. Disenchanted with the whole thing, Sydney takes up with a group of nerds in the 'Vortex'-- a dilapidated and cottage-like refuge for outcasts. With the support of her seven dorks, Sydney leads a student revolution against Greek row and get her prince.

The cast are a good looking bunch of fresh-faces. Matt Long (Ghost Rider) is Tyler Prince, Sara Paxton is the wicked sorority witch, but it's the imagining of of the seven dwarfs that is laughter-inducing. They are stereotypical gaming, comic book-reading, larpers. Lenny (Jack Carpenter) is our uber-allergic to the world, Sneezy. Jeremy (Adam Hendershott) copes with life through his doggie hand puppet Skoozer. (Bashful) Embele (Donte Bonner) as Sleepy, is the Nigerian exchange student who hasn't adapted to the time change. Gurkin (Danny Strong) is quintessential Grumpy-- just in a anti-establishment way. George (Arnie Pantoja) is still a (Dopey) junior Tiger scout, but nothing gets to this naive doofus. Terrence (Jeremy Long) is Doc-- in a statistical/science-extreme sort of way. Spanky (Samm Levine) imagines Happy as a poster-child for Ritalin.

Sydney White is more harmless fare from the adorable Amanda Bynes-- I just can't help myself. She gets away with so much. Her proclivity to rely on physical comedy and that eye-roll can be annoying, but she's just so darn cute.
The film does feel contrived at times-- easily excusable in my book when there's so much more to offer. The Star Wars and LOTR references are ridiculous! The references to the fairy tale are non-stop. We have a 'Hot or Not' list and a poison apple computer virus, plus a shout-out to the Grimm Brothers (authors of the original tale). Oh, and I didn't mention John Schneider (Bo Duke) plays dad?!

Ultimately, Sydney White is a sweet movie that deserves a modicum of respect thanks to a positive message and happily ever after.

An Affair to Remember (1957)

During a cruise from Europe to New York, international playboy Nickie Ferrante (Cary Grant) meets the stunning Terry McKay. The former night-club singer is travelling back into the arms of her monied boyfriend. Playboy Nickie is returning to his wealthy fiance. The two spend every last moment together, knowing full well that duty, not love, will send them back to New York. In the last minutes of their time together, the couple decide to meet at the Empire State Building six months later to determine if what they feel is true.

A grueling six months later, Nickie waits on the 102nd floor. Down below a hurried Terry is struck by a car and unable to meet him. Confined to a wheelchair, Terry refuses to contact Nickie unsure of what he might think. A chance meeting between the two, months later, re-ignites memories of the affair.

What a beautiful film! You don't find love stories like An Affair to Remember anymore. Much of the charm, I think, lies in the age of the film. Cary Grant {doesn't do much for me}, but as Nickie, is the consummate playboy charmed by the self-confident Terry. Deborah Kerr is amazing! Women of that time carried a mystique about them. The chemistry found between this two is spine-tingling. The softness of her words, the gentleness of his caress-- it's beautiful!

There are two brilliant scenes here from director Leo McCarey that sum the film up like nothing else: the reflection of the Empire State Building in Terry's window and Nickie's realization of the painting-- both are tear-wrenching!! Story-telling doesn't get any better.

In this day and age, it's difficult not to deem movies from this time period as 'too sentimental' or 'corny'. True romantics will find a timeless plot in An Affair to Remember that is all too deserving of the 'classic' moniker.

Masterpiece Theatre: Sense & Sensibility (2008)

The final adaption in the Austen series brings mixed feelings. While I adore the story of the once privileged Dashwood sisters, sensible Elinor (Hattie Morahan) and romantic Marianne (Charity Wakefield), this version lacked in a few areas. Marianne charms two suitors, stoic Col. Brandon (David Morrissey) and cad John Willoughby (Dominic Cooper). Elinor seeks a simpler life and engages in a puzzling courtship with aspiring clergyman Edward Ferrars (Dan Stevens). The ups and downs are love in the 19th Century will resonate with romantics of all ages.

This BBC production is par for the course; it's beautiful. The cottages are charming, the English countryside idyllic and the sprawling manors lavish.
It's unfortunate that writer Andrew Davies interprets Austen's novel as a two part and bloated mini-series. Davies conjures larger than life characters for the supporting roles that irritate. The Dashwood sisters are surrounded by incompetence that just annoys. The entire Ferrars family, the Dashwood cousins-- they are all present, but so over the top in form it detracts from an otherwise solid film.

The beloved story of Sense and Sensibility is here amid the fallacy of character. It's much to easy to compare this adaptation with 1995's Emma Thompson and Kate Winslett production {my favorite}. Davies' modern adaption is sensual and romantic. I just wish he would have as much time relishing in the 'happily ever after' as he did the misery of love abandoned.

Fight Club (1999)

Fight Club is one of those mind f*ck movies much like The Sixth Sense. You can easily find a spoiler on any number of sites. I won't bother here. Once seen, pleasure is derived from watching others watch Fight Club. I conducted this experiment again today. My subject: my father.

As Tyler Durdin, Brad Pitt is everything you want to be. He says the things you think, does the thing you {want} to do, carries himself the way you would {if you didn't think you'd get laughed at hysterically... Tyler is everyone who ever held a thankless job. He is the yang to corporate American worker's yin.

Every aspect of the movie speaks to the viewer. The narrative of Ed Norton's corporate drone, his existence could be a mirror to any of ours and then in steps Durdin. His flashy existential philosophy for the everyman is eye-opening. Dialogue, score, visuals-- it all plays to that crucial moment of self-realization.

Back to the experiment. So, I hoodwinked my father into viewing by saying it's about suburban white males and the elusive world of underground fighting. With a promise of no-holds bar violence, he was in. As the film played, going for the revelation and wham! His eyes go big, his mouth wide... what the?!

It was great. His reaction was perfect. He then begins to analyze scenes, recalling details that should have clued him in, talking things out. It is a good night.

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

Wes Anderson's films are a must-see in my book, but it takes a special mind to enjoy them. He creates amazing places, explores odd and flawed themes in an unusual manner that you don't get from today's film-makers.

After the death of their father, Peter, Francis and Jack Whittman (Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman, respectively) board the Darjeeling Limited in an attempt to reconnect after years of distance. Sibling rivalry is taken to new heights as the brothers, led by Francis, explore their emotions or lack thereof on the cross-Indian train.

Anderson's unique stamp is all over The Darjeeling Limited. The settings, both on and off the train, are alive with people and things. Vibrant and quirky, the film is fun to look at even when the story lulls.

Anderson alums, Wilson and Schwartzman, fall right into their roles playing depressed, privileged characters. Brody is a natural in Anderson's world. Angelica Huston appears for a brief moment, as does Natalie Portman. Thankfully, Bill Murray gets a shout-out. Yes!

The Darjeeling Limited is a wildly stylized and indulgent film. The odd pacing, depressed characters, carefully detailed environment-- it's all Anderson. The storyline is hit or miss off the train. Francis and his itinerary (courtesy of the misidentified albino, Brandon) is an oddball gag that kills me, as does the Louis Vuitton luggage. On the train and in close quarters is where Anderson and Cast really shine. The verbal and sometime nonsensical sparring between the trio combined with the nauseating color scheme of Indian curry is charming.

Again, like his previous films, The Darjeeling Limited will be polarizing. You either love or hate 'em. This film often feels like an inside joke from Anderson to his fans.

Hotel Chevalier ~ Portman's remarks about the nude scene found here have been the source of many internet searches. Nothing mind-blowing, but it's on the disc, so why not watch it?!