31 More Days of Horror: Teeth (2006)

A nice dollop of cheese is served alongside this morbidly interesting tale of vagina dentate. Campy and shocking, Teeth is centered on an ancient myth that is bound to make every viewer uncomfortable.

Dawn (Jess Weixler) is a virtuous high-school student whose abstinence isn’t 100% voluntary. Enter Tobey who causes Dawn to have ‘impure’ thoughts. After a swim, Tobey’s libido gets the best of him and the real reason for Dawn’s abstinence becomes apparent. Her vagina is lined with shark-like incisors that engage whenever she’s ‘mistreated’ causing her offender’s appendage to become detached.

Overcoming the initial shock and after rediscovering her body (through Google-esque means, no less), Dawn begins to use this evolutionary anomaly to her advantage. At that, the film morphs from into a revenge flick as Dawn plots against her incestuous big brother (Nip/Tuck’s John Hensley) and any other who dare enter her pants without permission.

Teeth is filled with absurd moments and graphic imagery. Writer/director Michael Lichenstein skims the surface of the vagina dentate myth, but thoroughly delivers the castration angle. The dialogue is oddly funny; the events are often surreal. Strangely enough the balance of black humor to penile abuse works. The film never seems to cross that torture porn/exploitive line.

Part horror, part comedy and altogether weird, Teeth is an interesting piece for gore fans.