Heavy Metal (1981)

The things you do for people you love.

What the Hades do you call this stuff?! This collection of animated stories is like a train wreck-- so horrific you can't turn away. It's just stupid!! The animation is pure 80s and ridiculously dumb. This has hordes of cult fans?! It's disgusting. Not even the solid soundtrack can save this idiotic mix of anime, aliens, some green orb called Loc-Nar and large-breasted, naked women. WTF doesn't even cover it?!

Heavy Metal begs the question: What in the Hell was going in 1981?!

The first story seems to be a complete rip of The Fifth Element, but seeing as this sh!t came first, perhaps it's the inspiration. I don't really care.

The animation is about the only think I don't take issue with. It was the 80s. I equate animation of this type to many of my favorite cartoons of the decade. My biggest issue here is the lack of intelligence. There is nothing of substance here; must one be 'on a substance' to enjoy this?! Heavy Metal reeks of lameness.

I am not this film's demographic. Thank God. As I See It, Heavy Metal is a complete waste of celluloid that deserves to be forgotten.