Reality TV (2009)

Ah, summer! The heat, the plans, the long days and cool nights, the reality TV. It doesn't get in any better. Amid endless re-runs of my favorites shows, I find respite in Big Brother, Hell's Kitchen, and Project Runway.

Big Brother never fails to disappoint. Season 11 with it's lame and quickly axed twist {high school cliques}, doesn't quite have the personalities of Evil Dick or Janelle this year. Sadly, Mr. Ego--'Roid head himself, Jesse, finagled a spot on the show. Love to hate 'em all. Lippy Chima, Master Gamer/Mongoloid Ronnie, Scary Fairy Lydia, Airy Jordan, and Obnoxious Russell-none of them are weirdly interesting, but I still watch. 'Cause it's fun.

Gordon Ramsey, you don-KEY! God, I love you. But I love imitating you more. Your no-nonsense, in your face attitude coupled with a distinctly British demeanor makes this American quake. Lord of the Pass, you take no sh!t from anyone, but dish it out beautifully. Your vernacular is equally delightful. On your tongue, nouns become barbs of disgust. Cows are insulted by the morons on Hell's Kitchen.

The lawsuit is over. Project Runway is back on Lifetime in the fall. In the meantime, catch up with Season 5 on DVD. Tim Gunn, wish you were my fairy godfather. I'd always look good. The tan-orexic Blayne is eclipsed only by the leathery Stella. Since when did mousy mean couture?! When Pam, er, Leanne showed up. It's runway-licious.

Take your time, fall. Don't hurry. With television like this Fringe can wait.