The A-Team (2010)

If The A-Team were any other movie, I doubt I would feel this strongly.  But the following is a commentary/review on the remake of a beloved series from my childhood.  Forgive me for sounding old.

“In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.”

With the smashing of B.A.’s beloved van in the first 15 minutes, it becomes evident that director Joe Carnahan doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. Keeping only the bare bones of the 80s series, he quickly disposes of all that elements that made The A-Team great.

The heart and soul was, of course, the team. Casting the likes of Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, and an MMA fighter alongside the great Liam Neeson was a daring move. It should have worked.  It kind of does.  Ultimately, the cast doesn’t have much to work with—it’s all smoke and mirrors—and while I do realize that the series itself was only a series of well-placed jeep explosions and awesome montages, this A-Team lacks soul.

Col. John ‘Hannibal’ Smith is, at his very core, a charismatic, resourceful no-nonsense leader. Hannibal is all about the jazz and Liam Neeson, sadly, is not. He’s an amazing actor, but his cigar skills and the delivery of a key line are sorely lacking. Additionally, the very nature of defaulting to Face (Bradley Cooper) is insulting to this great leader.

Carnahan seems to have forgotten that Templeton Peck’s nickname is FACE. Note to Bradley Cooper’s abs: quit trying to compete. Cooper makes a beautiful, believable, right-hand conman with a smile that kills.

B.A. Baracus is the epitome of bad-assery. It’s B.A.—not Bosco. NO ONE calls him Bosco. Props for creating the background on B.A.’s fear of flying, but the props are quickly recalled after playing the ‘hocus-pocus’ card. Seriously?! B.A. deserved better. Ultimate fighter Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson holds his own—but isn’t quite sullen, or good-hearted enough. This character is SORELY misconstrued.

H.M. ‘Howling Mad’ Murdoch is one crazy sonofabitch and District 9's Sharlto Copley is, in a word, f^cking brilliant. {Sorry, two words.} He embodies the crazed pilot with a lust for life and fearlessness of death. His superior flying skills and unquestionable devotion to the insane make Murdoch the film’s saving grace. Copley is spot-on and with a true homage to the original, the film includes a puppet interaction with BA and a perfect imitation of Mel Gibson in ‘Braveheart’—complete with stick horse. Copley even gets to throw down some incredible voice work. Kudos!!

The television series found the A-Team righting wrongs thanks to Hannibal’s plans, Face’s roguish good looks, B.A. welding skills, and Murdoch’s humor. There was undeniable chemistry between the team. In 2010, the only chemistry found here is in the explosions. Again, the boys look great—but the film isn’t cohesive.

The special effects are explosive, but unfocused allowing Carnahan to skip-out on some much needed detail. Much of the action happens—conveniently—in the dark. For you the viewer, it’s all a blur, which leads this viewer to be annoyed, frustrated and ultimately disappointed.

Jessica Biel, Patrick Wilson, and Gerald McRainey {yes, him} pop up in adequate supporting roles that allow our A-Team to build backstory and weave enough plot to fill 90 minutes.

As I see it, The A-Team is an average summer film that will entertain the ADD generation.  For those who find themselves waxing nostalgic, take heart.  Though there isn't enough cheese or jeep-explosions to fill the void that is left by the soul Carnahan rips out., Copley's performance and the hidden clips (after the credits) are worth the price of admission.