Blue Velvet (1986)

Jeffrey Beaumont (young Kyle MacLachlan) has returned to his small town to help out while his father recovers from a heart attack. While walking home one day, he discovers a severed ear. Curiosity gets the best of him and before long Jeffrey is mixed up in a local murder mystery that involves nightclub diva, Dorothy Vallens (Isabelle Rossellini), coked-out weirdo Frank (Dennis Hopper) and a myriad of two-bit players.

Critical acclaim and EW's ranking of Frank Booth as #13 of their Top 20 Villains drove me to Blue Velvet. In the words of OMC, "How bizarre!" After viewing, I take issue with two things: How in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks did Frank Booth even get a mention on EW's {Iss 1041} list and more importantly, what is this movie about?!

Blue Velvet is aiming to take you behind the curtain of Small-town, USA, but writer/director David Lynch can't seem to focus long enough on anything to make a cohesive story. Random events are occurring in Lumberton and magically they are interconnected because some freak with arresting mommy issues keeps some aged dame's family hostage?! Excuse me?!

Insipid and cruel, Blue Velvet is disturbing. Lynch is content to shock versus examine events that shape the human condition. The cast provides solid performances that I cannot overcome. To think Rossellini subjected herself to such trash is maddening. Hopper is laughable where I think abhorrence is best served. MacLachlan is steady and fresh-faced Laura Dern hasn't aged a bit.

There is a sense of surrealism that I can only liken to A Clockwork Orange. But unlike Kubrick's film which contains human emotion that begs examination; Lynch's film is vile and tasteless.

Blue Velvet, a classic? Not in my book.